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weve liked each other sense elementary school, it cant end now!
17/ female. Hey there so Im going to try not to make this long, so here goes. Me and this guy have liked each other sense 5th grade we just didn't really get to talk that much in middle school, because we went to different schools, but we would still keep in touch and when we did text off and on 6-8 grade it would still be flirting and us still liking each other. Well the summer of 8th grade going into freshman year came and that means both middle schools combine so I would be with him. Anyway that summer I met the guy who would be my first true love and I would have all of my firsts with. Turns out he lead me through an abusive relationship my whole freshman year and got me mixed up in some big situations and cheated on me the whole year but that was my first love, so I kept ignoring all of it, well finally in May the last month of school he broke up with me because I finally confronted him about the cheating, and the guy lets call him Jack the one im writing about text me one night saying he knew what happened and he would be there for me always. I really needed a friend so I took him in and he would come over and hangout every week we would go walking to our old elementary school and talk about memories and then facetime every night for a long time. The more and more we talked the more and more I really fell for him, he was the sweetest guy ever and would do anything for me I asked and helped me and said I was beautiful even when I felt the most ugly and he was the only guy I didn't feel nervous around. Well I liked him too except I knew I wasn't ready for a realationship and he was well one night of hanging out, he really wanted to kiss me and I mean I wanted it too, but I was still so touchy and he kept wanting to and asking and everytime I would move he would try to kiss me and it made me nervous and violated because I wasn't ready and my past realationship got to my head, well I finally gave in and did it but because my past relationship was still messing with my head it made me feel like horrible so i went a while without talking to him because it scared me and so I went from july until about almost a month ago not talking to him. I thought about him a lot and around September I was finally 100% over my ex in the past relationship and becoming emotionally stable so I text Jack but he woudldnt take me back like i thought we would text for a couple days and just argue and then we would hangout and he would be pretty sweet but not text as normal and its still like that two weeks later, I know hes still hurt but i would never do that again to him and ive told him and expressed my feelings I just want him to believe it because I realize now he is the perfect guy for me. He has treated me better than any guy has ever treated me and I want to be more than friends with him now I miss him so much! please help me!
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I agree with Dragonflymagic about this not being texting material. You should talk to him face to face.
He's obviously hurt and felt rejected but maybe he didn't realize that it wasn't him, it was the fact that you weren't over your past relationship and he possibly felt like you were just leading him on.
Did you tell him straight up that you weren't ready because you're not over your past relationship? If you didn't, that's where you should start when you talk to him. If you did, then this guy obviously didn't care about your needs and only his. But I'm assuming you weren't straightforward and telling him how you were feeling about the situation.
If you did, then he's probably not that great of a guy.
So take it slow with him. Talk to him face to face.
If your past is still causing you problems, get counseling.
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How well did you communicate how you weren't over the trauma and totally healed from the last relationship yet? You didn't give the time frame of how long from the breakup until Jake tried to kiss you...a couple of months, a year? Likely he is too young and inexperienced to know that your rejection was not one of him but of the memories it brought up. You can try to have a talk with him face to face...this isn't texting material. But you better be sure you have no residual stuff hanging around from what you say was an abusive relationship. Because if he gives you and him a chance and some odd reminder comes up and you pull back, thats it...you've just killed the relationship forever.
Or you could choose to push past the uncomfortable memory instead of letting it hold you back. You basically give your subconscious mind a little pep talk... about how Jake is not anything like the ex so you have nothing to worry about and assure yourself that you really did learn from that mistake and will not put yourself through a similar thing ever again.
If you find long term, that issues keep coming up for you, you may want to consider getting counseling.
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