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Got back together, things aren't the same?
Before our breakup, things were great. We would talk everyday, when I had a problem, he was right there for me and vice versa. We said "I love you" everyday, it was just perfect.
One day I got really depressed, and I do stupid things....really stupid...
So, I broke up with him for what I thought was good reasons, but now they are nothing. He didn't get over us for like 2 months or so.
Now, I made my move to get him back, I played our song and asked him. He was "happy" when we got back together. We said "I love you" the first day...but...well things aren't the same.
Now, we don't talk everyday, hes not really there for me. When I text him, he takes FOREVER to respond, or doesn't even respond at all. It's really killing me, what should I do? I have strong feelings for him, and I told him I didn't wanna lose him, and he agreed but, what should I do?
Please help!
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Without knowing either of you well enough to be able to see if one or both of you are unknowingly, unintentionally doing something to hurt the friendship/relationship, I have no way of knowing.
So dear, all I have is the words you typed to me to try to decipher something from and what I get from it could be way off the mark so please excuse if it is. Twice in your message I see the similar phrase:
"he was right there for me and vice versa" and
"now we dont talk everyday, hes not really there for me"
I am making a wild guess, that perhaps your subconscious wrote about what is most important to you and it could be the focus is "What can I get out of the relationship" rather than "What can I give to the relationship."
Relationships, like friendships, are about a mutual give and take. A person can lose interest if they feel a relationship is one sided, they're doing all the work and getting nothing in return. So all I can say is that something must be out of balance. If you do some soul searching and cant find an obvious error, then it must be something more subtle. The only way to find out whats really going on is to have a serious talk. He may think you want to just chat about trivial stuff. So let him know you want a serious talk abut the 2 of you and your future if any. You must be ready to hear what he is having issues with, and not become defensive. He may have unrealistic expectations or have some valid points. For teens and college age, this is all part of the learning process of what the opposite sex is like, understanding them better and discovering enough about the other to be able to know if you're the right person for them. It is easy to have feelings for a person whether they are perfect for us or not, And if not--then because there are major problems that can't be overcome because they involve changing good things about who you are, your personality, your talents, passions, hopes dreams, morals, beliefs, etc...
older long term couples and married couples will benefit from taking a relationship/marriage counseling program. There are books couples can read together once they've discovered where their main problem lies.
However, as I've hinted at, if there are too many differences (not bad things in themselves) but difference between you both, that will bring a strain in the relationship. Since guys don't usually fall emotionally for the females as fast as females get emotionally hooked to guy, it is easier in the beginning if the guy see's some problems to distance himself or detach from the relationship totally. His mind may be saying theres some things special about you but theres also a difference between I love you and being In love with a person. This is the best I can tell you with what little information I have.
What is your gut feeling concerning what might be an issue? Listen to your inner voice, or call it the higher voice. Don't lie to yourself or ignore something obvious, trying to convince yourself it is not important cus the opposite may be true. If you come up with some ideas of what you think may have caused the problems, things both of you have said and done specifically,then I may be able to give you more insight before you have your talk. Not totally sure, but I can try.
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