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Friends just stop talking to me
I feel like there's something wrong with me.
I'm 20/female and twice now I've had best friends just stop talking to me without warning and I don't get it. I'm a great friend to people. I listen, I genuinely care, I keep my promises, I help then when they need it even when they don't ask...
But it's happened to me twice now where I've parted ways with friends (one went to a new state while I moved away for college and was separated from the other one.)
And when they stop talking to me it's just all of the sudden. They just stop responding to my texts, my calls... and after a while and I text and ask why they are doing this... they did not respond to that either.
I just feel like it's so childish to say you love someone and promise your friendship forever and just randomly start ignoring them without even giving them an explanation to help their heart...
I still remember the last thing both said to me too. One was "I love you" while the other was "I feel like we're going to be good friends for a long time." One a guy, one a girl. It's been two years since I've talked to one and one year since the other.
Every two months or so I'll text them and just ask them to tell me what happened or if I did something wrong and they won't even reply to that. And I thought they were good people...
Has this ever happened to anyone else? How do you move on without closure? Without knowing what happened? They both happened after the person got into a new relationship but that can't be all...
I'm scared to form new friendships because of this...
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
In both instances that you wrote about what I see is a time and distance situation. Separation is suppose to make the heart grow founder. In reality it does not always work. Things change and people change.
I remember when I was your age. Most of my friends went off to college. I went off to the Military so I could earn college credit as I could not afford to go to college any other way. When I first left my friends wrote to me regularly. Then I came home on leave. There was a war going on, the Viet Nam war, and they had not yet started college. Things were okay but not as they were something had changed. My next leave was at New Years and my friends still welcomed me home but they were different and they had not written as often. I had chalked their not writing up to the pressure of school.
On my last leave before being shipped to an overseas assignment all but one of my friends had anytime to spend with me. The others were to busy. One of my former friends came right out and said she didn't have time for a baby killer. I was in the air force; I fixed planes none of the planes I worked on ever dropped a bomb in the war zone. They couldn't they were nuclear capable only and she knew this. Overseas I worked on transport planes. I made sure the wounded got to hospitals and the dead got home for burial as well as supplies got to destination. I never fired a gun in anger. But I wore a uniform.
What I'm trying to say is people change based on time and place. Had I not gone off to the military at the time I did. The kids I grew up with and I would most likely still be friends. My son joined the National Guard during the first Iraq war. Unlike me every time he put on his uniform people came up to thank him. Different time, different war, different people.
You've done nothing wrong. The problem is with them; your not there for them to see and touch. Are they being rude for not answering your emails? Yes and there is no excuse for rudeness.
You have two choices. You can continue to try and contact them or you can give up. A third choice is what I do. Every year around the holidays I send out a Holiday letter letting them know what has gone on in my life over the past year. Nothing ever comes of it, even when I wrote about my wife having breast cancer. She is fine now and come March will be 5 years cancer free. One thing they will never be able to say though is; "That I haven't tried to stay in touch even though we occupy almost 4 corners of the country. Its not hard to do these days with email and social media
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