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back to that guy and my horoscope?
Hi! My horoscope says "give your aentimental life a breath of frezh air. I was curious. What does that mean? And that guy I was talking about before that I work with... well I got his number on friday night. And we were texting for a couple hours that night. And then yesterday we worked in the same department together. We were constantly messing with each other the whole time. Like juniir high flirting. Bumping into eachother he knocked boxes out of my hand. Talking crap and laughing. And so on. Well I heard hegets embaressed easily and hhe's insecure and shy and he won't be direct about something for example saying I'm pretty. He goes around the bush.. example we were texting the other night
Him:I'm not cocky
Me: and I'm not pretty
Him: talk about cocky lol
Me:no just truthful
Him: lol too truthful.
But he's very cocky my friends mum told me that he wouldn't say half that to my face.. but he's so coky I was confused. She said its because he just talks big so he can seem like it.. and i don't know what to do or say. How can I get him more comfortable around me. Please don't say to be myself. Cause I deffinetely am. Its way easy to be myself with him. And when should I text him again. Should I text him first or wait for him to text me? Our last and only time we texted was friday. My sisters mum has his number cause she's a manager and she said I wanted it so we were telli ng her what to tell him and then I finally texted him... cause he always messes around about a woman's job is in the kitchen and stuff so my friends mum said I said I'm a good sandwhich maker and blah blah and then he said he wanted a pb&j so I sent my first text a picture making a pb&j like messing around with him. So please help me out :) thankyou in advance
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
!st question: You can't pin too much importance on a horoscope if its one of the generic ones via newspaper, book or on the net. If it isn't one personalized for you including other factors like your moon sign and rising sign, etc... then what you are told can be vague. However I do some interpretation of tarot cards and the like. So a phrase 'breath of fresh air' evokes a picture of a room full of stale air. Air that is either lifeless, old or not healthy. If one needs to give themselves a breath of fresh air, it would indicate to stop doing whatever you're doing as it will keep leading to dead ends. Do the same as you've been doing, get the same results. So it means to introduce something new in. As far as him if you are taking that horoscope statement seriously, it would seem to indicate trying a different approach with him to help him become more open.
In part, for some people to do that, they need to gain a certain level of trust with another person to be able to be themselves and open up and only time can remedy that. Over time spent together, he should be able to know if he can trust you.
Think about the things your best girlfriends says and does that make you feel secure with her that you can trust her with your deepest darkest secrets and that should give you an idea of how to help him feel more secure.
My personal observance regarding texting: Since the rise in it's popularity I have noticed more confusion and less real communication. I see so many questions wonder what a text meant. Was it teasing or serious. The problem with written words (texting) in two fold, no 3.
1. you don't get to hear different tones of voice
to help interpret what is being said.
Example: "What are you doing?" Asked in a calm voice is a question as to what you are currently occupied with. Asked in a demanding, frantic tone, such as by a parent to child, in effort to get them to stop immediately what they are doing because it is dangerous, or they are doing something they know is against the rules.
2. you don't get to witness body language and pick up visual clues
Example:
When on two different occasions you are telling someone a story. The first person has their eyes locked on you and is leaning a bit forward to hear the next bit. The second person's eyes kept darting around to other areas of the room never staying on you long and they keep yawning and are slumped in their chair. This person is possibly bored with your story and having the visual clues you could then ask if your story is boring them and hopefully they know how to be honest. If they say yes with arm crossed against their chest, its not truthful. They may explain they didnt get good sleep last night and admit they were kinda zoning out so save the story to tell another day.
3. text communication is shortened in effort to keep responses speedy so it leads to less of value being said.
Example:Boyfriend is supposed to come over and pick you up for a date, he's running late.
You text: Where r u? His reply: Store
then silence. So you sit there thinking, why's he at the store when we have a date. OMG, he forgot me and that we have a date. So you think in order to jog his memory, send another text: Wut r yur plans 2nite? You get no response. Now you are real upset. Then theres a knock on the door a short while later and there he stands with a bouquet of flowers he was at the store buying for you. He didn't answer your last text cus his plans were to be with you and you know that so your question didn't make sense and he was already late, so why bother to text back to get into long text to find out what you meant by that.
See how easy it is to have problem communicating in text? There is 75% guessing being done vs any valuable info.
My advice is to make phone calls instead of relying on 100% texting. If you did voice calls 3/4 of the time and texting only 1/4, it should help him with social and conversational skills and in building trust and opening up.
But even relying on only phone calls eventually runs its course and the next step is spending time in each others presence. When I was dating and found a guy I liked, we could talk for hours each night 3, or 4 hrs straight and thats before meeting each other the first time. It helped to build the desire to be in each others presence, to want to spend time together, being even more open.
Keep in mind if the guy has some emotional hurts or other issues in his past that he is not ready to get over and get past, then no matter what you do, he won't be ready to proceed forward.
Keep in mind that women with a great desire to have outlets for their loving, nurturing strengths, do make the mistake of latching on to a guy with emotional or mental problems, their subconscious mind making the connection that here is a person who needs some nurturing and loving to heal and get better and they try hard to be the one to do that for him. Women should never try to take the role of a professional counselor or psychologist with a partner. That person may not be ready to put their issues to rest and even a professional cannot help when that is where a persons mind is at.
Hope this helps you a bit. Blessings dear.
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