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How do i stop being me?
This is following up to my earlier question. The only reason i am suicidal is that i'm still hung up over my cousin's suicide a year ago. My whole family has moved on, this is where Hanna comes in, she's the only one that knows about it, and since my family made me bottle it all in for most of the year, she came in and knew something was wrong and listens to me. But now i'm in love with her for it, and she thinks i need professional help. If i'm not to go after her, i don't think i can handle being around her, she kind of took the role of my entire family. Is being les for her the problem here... how do i change? everyone just thinks it's plain wrong, it's just making me feel more down, making me want to leave here more.
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You don't have to stop being you. That's the last thing in the world.
It's completely understandable that you fell for her. She was there for you, she cares about you. The people who are telling you that you are wrong for it, they're the ones that are wrong. They don't understand and you don't deserve to feel bad about it.
People grieve differently. You took your cousins death terribly and haven't been able to grieve and move on.
So I really think professional help will help you. There are professionals who specialize in exactly what you are going through.
If you need time away from her during this, do it. You will be able to confide in your therapist and won't have to keep it bottled up.
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