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how to i rebuild my trust
yes i understand her conditions.but she lied to me that she is virgin, and her past life and many things which related with her past. yes m from india,and here we r expecting that our wives will be virgin . my problem is that why she lied to me.now i feel she just used me to survive in life and better future. i feel terrible . i love her but can't trust her. what to do???
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I understand to a point how you feel. I cannot put myself totally in your shoes because my background and upbringing are totally different than yours.
All I can say to you is this. Given what she has been through I would have to give her some benefit here as to the why. If I still loved her and still wanted to spend the rest of my life with her I would try to see why she lied. As I said I don't see this as a true lie. I see this as survival instincts which is different, at least to me.
Is she in all other ways a good, honest women. Someone who is going to love, care and honor you. Someone who will raise a family with you. If so, then you can overlook the past; since her past was forced on her. Put yourself in her shoes for a moment and she if you would be any different. Remember what I said about learning to trust again. Especially learning to trust men.
I can tell you that learning to trust you was not easy for her. That tells me you are an exceptional person. As such I believe you can overlook this and move on. Only you need to know that she is not a virgin. This is not a shame on you or her for it is not something she had control over. This is not something you should hold over her for the rest of your lives either.
If you are the exceptional person I believe you to be then I believe you can overlook this and move on. Forget the past and just concentrate on the future together for that is what marriage is all about. Two people making a future, building a family and growing old together.
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