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Confusion
Hey razhie I really need some advice and you're my favorite columnist so I was wondering if you could help me out.. I'm a 22/f I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, and there's the very real possibility that we will be engaged within the next 1-3 years. His cousin is 24/f and engaged currently. We are all very close friends, and went out for a double date last night. During dinner she jokingly brought up the subject of me and my boyfriend getting engaged in the near future, then more seriously brought up how she has this prenotion that she will be picking out my ring with my boyfriend. She is a good friend to me, but she gets very jealous over rings, constantly comparing others in his family to her own. I know she would pick out something lesser than hers, and besides that I would prefer it if my boyfriend picks it out himself without her opinion, considering I want to wear something that HE absolutely loves. It's not about the ring size to me, but the thought of her influencing my boyfriend so that I can be another comparison really bothers me for some reason. Is it pushy for me to ask him to (when the time comes) pick one out on his own? Or to go with someone from my family instead? Maybe I am over thinking this? Thanks.
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I don't think it's pushy or over-thinking it to say to your boyfriend "So, when/if it comes to picking out a ring, these are the people in my life who you can rely on for good opinions about my taste and desires - and these are the people you can't."
It might be a bit too demanding - in my personal opinion - to insist he select it all by himself. That could be very stressful for some guys. But it's not too much to let him know who he can rely on for help and who he can't.
Your cousins fiance IS pushy. She might also be your good friend, but she is also pushy. She didn't have any 'premonition' - she might think she did - but she obviously just wanted to make the topic of conversation less about you and more about her.
Put her self centered comments aside tho, and think about what advice you could give your boyfriend to help make his ring-selecting as successful and stress free as possible.
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