|
How do I get noticed by an older guy?
This is a question for men, preferably, around 30. I am 21 years old (F) - I'll be 22 in December.
I was just wondering if there was any chance that a man around 30 years old would be interested in someone my age beyond something just purely sexual. I feel like maybe most men would just write me off when they find out how old I am.
I know a lot of girls say they're mature when they're really not, but if you knew me you'd agree that I'm mature beyond my years. I've never fit in with any of my peers. I've always hung out with older people because I feel like I fit in SO much better. I want a MAN. I appreciate the maturity level of an older man; I want someone "on my level", if you know what I mean.
So how do I attract an older guy in such a way that he looks at me as dating material instead of just some young girl he'd like to sleep with?
What got me really thinking about this was when my mom told me the other day she has a strong feeling I'm ultimately going to end up with someone 7 to 10 years older than I am. I think she's right, and I'd like some serious advice on how to go about it. There's someone I'm interested in who's about 7 and a half years older than me (29). Is there a way to get on his potential-girlfriend radar even though I'm young?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I dated men in their thirties throughout my twenties.
Whether or not you can get on the girlfriend-radar of this particular 29 year old, has almost nothing to do with you, and everything to do with him. There is no magic rain dance that will make him think of you as a peer, no manuever that will make him think of you as girlfriend material. Either he will see you that way, or he wont. The best thing you can do, is see yourself that way and be yourself. The best, nicest, most confident and openly flirting version of yourself.
But as for dating older men in general, I'm going to give you a few warnings:
Age is not the best marker of maturity.
You may be a very mature 21 year old.
He (or other men you might meet) can be very, very immature 29, 35, or even 40 year olds.
Don't make the mistake of thinking everyone in their late twenties has magically turned into a MAN. They haven't.
It's really not usual to date someone that much older than you, but it does come with some risks. Some older men (and, women) are attracted to dating younger people in order to better hide their bullshit - younger people might not catch the warning signs quite as fast, especially since the older they get, the better they are at hiding it or making the irrational sound reasonable.
If you end up dating someone significantly older than yourself you want to be extra on guard against controlling or manipulative behavoir that is dressed up as though it's just 'experience talking'. You want to make sure that you both can make decisions and have opinions with equal weight in your relationship.
It may not be fair to say, but it is true: There are sometimes very good reasons that an older person is single. Lord knows I dated a few guys in their 30s who were single for reasons that became pretty obvious after a short while.
My final advice would be: Don't box yourself in. Don't reject guys who are your own age right out of hand. Some of them will be more of a 'real man' at 20 than other guys will be 75.
You want to be seen for yourself, not just your age, it's a good idea to see other people that way too.
]
Hey there,
I am 27 and I wouldn't mind seeing a girl of 21 and older. Once we are over 20, the gap becomes not so significant as it would be, say, for 15 and 20 year olds. The point is many women after 20 are getting mentally and spiritually mature enough for older men, so if you are really of a higher level a you claim, it wouldn't be a problem for that man.
The situation may vary depending on the type of man you are interested in, but to me, I'd love to see that the girl isn't a teenager anymore if you know what I mean. Show him that you are intelligent and wise and adult enough for him. And of course, don't forget that men are men regardless of the age :) [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
It can be helpful, but I'm pretty sure you know how to attract a man. Good luck!
]
More Questions: |