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No trust, and Paranoid
Hi,
21/m
Me and my girlfriend (sort of) have been together for about 5 months. She wasn't officially my girlfriend until a couple months ago. Then she felt that it was moving too quickly, so we went back to just being boyfriend and girlfriend in all but name.
My issue is about the lack of trust now. Everything seemed fine (even switching from gf and bf to not) until recently. She met someone at work - someone who helped her with a job application, and they seem to text each other constantly. And I see her smiling at her phone, and it makes me paranoid. I asked her who she was textong and with a smile on a face (the smile someone does when they're blatantly lying) she said no one. I asked her a couple times again and she eventually told me that it was this guy. She said the reason she didn't say at first was because I'd get upset (she knows one of my flaws is that I'm a jealous person). I told her that she should tell me, and her not telling me makes me think she has somethi g to hide.
So that was yesterday. Today, she's been texting him all day too. She was playing on my phone, and I reached over to hers. She immediately got up and told me to give it her. I explained that I just wanted to play a game on her phone, and she smiled (again, like a guilty smile). She then kept hovering over me. Eventually, her attention was diverted so I did the unthinkable.
Yes...I checked her texts. This guy sent her a picture of him, in a tuxedo. I saw the texts about him going to a party. She was saying how smart he looked, and him saying how he's not the type of guy that just has sex with anyone. I then scrolled up to see what time he first text her, but I then noticed that they were textig each other at 2.30am. Here is the crazy thing - I was in her room at about 11.45pm last night, and she was really tired. And she kept falling asleep. So I left her room then, so she could sleep.
I then asked her what time she went to bed earlier, and she said 12am?!
She seems to rebut much of what I say. "These guys are just friends", "I don't get annoyed when you talk to your ex girlfriends" (we say Hi now and again, but never do we text constantly).
I don't really know what to do. I ask what this guy says when he texts and she replies "not much". And apparently, the reason she got all protective over her phone was because she doesn't like when people walk off with her phone.
We don't have long together, because she is moving away for a new job, and we decided long distance probably wouldn't work. So I wasn't going to say anything.
And I can't approach her without her knowing that I read her texts. But I just feel like I am being lied to, and it isn't nice. Especially because of how much I like her. I know she isn't cheating on me, but I just feel uncomfortable with this constant flirting with this other guy (whose intentions I don't know).
What worries me the most, is that we first got together when she was with her ex boyfriend. She was unhappy in that relationship, and it was long distance. So although it sounds harsh, I know cheating isn't beyond her.
Sorry about the length, but can you provide any advice?
Thanks in advance.
P.s. sorry for any typos, I'm currently on my phone.
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