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sorry to bug
So much for your insight on things. You help a lot. I'm just not sure what to do. Like how should I go about approaching him or getting some of his guard down. Hes so confusing on how he is with me and I just want to know how he feels like deep inside but he runs from emotions and feelings. Like why is he kissing me but doesn't want to be in a relationship or have sex with me? I've never been in this situation before. He talks and stuff about how he wants kids and everything. Were very much alike. We want the same things. We just tend to say stuff that sets eachother off. Its usually simple little things. And I'd really hate to compare it to the notebook but my friend already did that. I'm not aure how much of a fairytale believer I am anymore due to experiences. But noah and allie fought all the time but were soulmates. Is that in anyway possible? I like to believe anything is. But I don't know what I'm feeling about love and relationships and stuff anymore. It just all seems so cliche I guess in lack of other words.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Sorry but there's nothing you can say to make him decide to take his guard down. Just hang out with him and love and accept him as he is if you want to stay. Deep down, your soul may be sensing there is something for you to learn in this very difficult relationship and thats why you haven't gone running the other direction.
If you have read up on soul mates, yes they definitely can fight and rub each other the wrong way.
Right now your guy talks about kids and future. Talk is cheap. It doesn't mean a person will go through with it. A person who has his guard up due to past hurts and experiences can take a long time to let it down enough to let you in. My ex was a small business accountant and went to meet a new client. >The man acted very bristly and gruff towards him and it continued that way from quite some time until he finally trusted his accountant and let him see just a crack inside. He was still not a sociable friendly person, quiet and reclusive, but he didn't try as hard to be gruff and bristly in his attitude. And that was it, the most he improved.
Maybe thats what you have here. I'm not saying don't stay with him. Just be mentally prepared for it not improving enough for your tastes after years spent being with him. There are people who make it tough to love them. Some end up worth the commitment to stay with them and some are not. Can't say what your guy will be like. It's still up to you.
Maybe give yourself a time limit you are willing to invest before giving up so you can relax more in the now. Say that maybe you are willing to give up 3 years of your life with him, to give him time to come around and if he doesn't, you'll finally leave and move on. If that happens, you are okay with 3 years and nothing to show for it and do not feel it a waste of time. At whatever point your subconscious tells you "any more than such and such amount of time is a waste of my time and effort," then abide by that or you will go on for years being angry with yourself and that turns away possible suitors for a relationship.
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