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Said something stupid about boss at work... I FEEL HORRIBLE!


Question Posted Sunday July 7 2013, 12:59 am

I say the most violent, idiotic things when I'm mad. It's like the steam from my anger melts the connection my brain has with my mouth, and it just spurts out crap I don't even mean, and that I regret instantly. I said something REALLY stupid about one of our bosses at work to a coworker, and two of my other bosses heard it, and scolded me for it. I feel awwwwwwwwwwwwful, immature, and just plain stupid. I didn't even mean what I said at all, either. I actually like our boss as a person.

Has anyone else been there? I feel god-awful, I legitimately almost threw-up at work. I'm paranoid what I said about my boss is going to get back to her, I think my rep with the other bosses is ruined, and I work so hard to be seen as a nice person. This one thing is gonna screw me over, and I feel overwhelmed with guilt. :((((


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adviceman49 answered Sunday July 7 2013, 10:59 am:
It is hard to put something back in the box once it has been let out, though you can always try.

What I would suggest is you ask to have a private meeting with your boss. Explain to her that you have a flash temper when you become overwhelmingly frustrated and you say things you really don't mean. You regret saying them even as you are saying them for as you are exploding, you are also calming. Apologize for what was said and tell her you are working hard to control your temper.

You would probably want to ask if she could ever forgive you for what was said. I would not ask for if she will forgive you she will offer to do so.

I don't know how old you are but when I was younger I too had a temper which I had to learn to control. Part of the control came with age and maturity. The other part was just realizing when I was about to go off on someone and finding a place to give myself a timeout to cool down. In other words instead of standing my ground and venting with someone or just spouting off I would go to the men's room or go outside and walk around, depending on the weather.

One other thing you might try is if you have an EAP program at work is to contact them and ask to be put in touch with a therapist who can help you find out why you have a short fuse and help you manage it better.

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