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How do I deal with it?
Um, so basically the guy I was dating and I decided to break up three days ago. I didn't want to, but I did to make him happy. It is crazy. I'm just going through this phase where I miss him every minute of the day. When I talked to him yesterday, I was crying uncontrollably on the phone and that only because he hates himself, he's into depression and he never told me when we were together. On the phone he was just being mean, asking me to stay away otherwise I'll get hurt. Later I found out when I was crying, we was too but silently, because he couldn't say anything. The thing is, sometimes, he gets so mean to me. Everytime, I pretend to be happy, pretend to be okay, he just..it's like he becomes cold. Why does he do this? Is it possible that he still has feelings for me? I didn't contact him at all today and he came on fb and I told him my phone broke ( which it did) and that I couldn't talk for a week..until school starts. But then he replied by saying that he was sorry and he asked me to "please text or call??" But I didn't. Not because I don't want to, but because I don't know what I'll say or how I'll say that stuff again and again. I don't want to show him that I'm weak, but I miss him so much! Is it possible that he still misses me and loves me the way I do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
What was the reason you two broke up?
If you both had a good reason to why you broke up, then the break up was probably a good thing.
You guys only broke up three days ago. It's completely normal for you to miss him and want him to miss you too.
And as for this whole depression thing. Is he actually depressed, like clinically depressed or depressed because of uncontrollable circumstances and is more "upset" rather than depressed?
It's never a good thing to be with a guy who hates himself. It's obviously not attractive. Like boys aren't normally attracted to girls who don't like themselves. It brings people down. So to be with him, he needs to work on his self esteem.
And on top of that he was being mean over the phone. Even if you both were upset over this, it doesn't give him a right to be mean just to get you to stop talking to him.
He most likely still has feelings for you. I mean it's only been a couple days. You don't get over someone that fast unless you never really liked them.
It's actually a good thing that you didn't contact him. Not that you don't want to look weak, but because I think you both need some space.
He needs to work through his issues with himself and being angry and taking it out on you. It's not fair to you because you really care about him and how he's feeling. So you do need to care about yourself too. So give it some time before you jump back into talking to him again. If you guys ever work things out, make sure you work through your problems.
For now, you should just wait it out.
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Into depression? Being "into" something means you kinda like it. He's into rap music, she's into eating vegetarian. So either he is clinically depressed and needs to be under medication or he is refusing to take it for some reason he believes to be valid, maybe side effects., or he is not depressed but choosing to act like that as a defense mechanism to keep people from getting too close to him for whatever reasons, in which case it might be a good idea for him to see a mental health professional to discover why he does that and work towards healthier thinking and feeling and relationships.
If he is warning you to stay away from him...at least he has some sense, he knows he is in no shape to be able to offer a healthy relationship. As much as it hurts it might be best to follow his advice for now but at least write him and ask if he's seen anyone for depression and if he has meds why he doesnt take them. Or ask if it is something else that he has no clear idea what yet and suggest he see a counselor. Make sure you want him to do this for himself, not for you. Watch and see if he improves. If he does not, continue to stay away. You are not weak for crying and being upset about someone you have feelings for. But you do have to watch that you are not led about by only your feelings. Thoughout life you will have times that you will need to make the best decision which will include a period of time when you are sad because there the heart hasnt let go yet.
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