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Sexual pleasure
Im 18 years old and have only had sex once. I have done a lot of other things orally such as being fingered and muffed or giving a handjob or blowjob. But I just cant figure out why it hurts when im getting fingered or trying to have sex?? I thought in the beginning it was normal to hurt and that I would get used to it but im not?? Everyone tells me that they enjoy it but I don't. What should I do to get the pleasuring part going??
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The first thought that comes to mind is that only having had sex one time your vaginal muscles have not had time to learn to relax and accept a penis. Also even though you are 18 and of legal age; now entitled to have a sex life if you want one, you still fear parental retribution if they find out you are sexually active. My wife had this problem up until we married and she was 22 when we met.
There is also the size of the boys penis. They say size matters and the bigger the better. That may not be so for someone who is nearly a virgin.
Average Vagina Size
Relaxed
Length 3 1/2 to 4 inches
Diameter 1 Inch
Aroused
Length ("tented) 5 to 6 inches
Diameter 1 1/2 to 2 inches
Looking at the discretion of the average size of a vagina. Any male over 6" in length and over 2" in diameter is going to have a hard time penetrating a virgin or someone who has not engaged in many sex acts and learned to relax her vaginal muscles. Also the male needs to be gentle in his approach if he is overly large. This male needs take his time trying to enter you. I have a feeling your first time was not very comfortable or enjoyable for you which may be the cause of your anxieties.
As for fingering you and pain associated with it. My best guess is anxiety on your part causing the muscles in your vagina to spasm and lock up. If there is no pain while you finger yourself while masturbating then I am probably on target.
Before you go running of to your GYN for help with this. Try buying some different sized vibrators to use while masturbating. IF you can insert the vibrators without problem and learn to control your vaginal muscles you should be able to get over the anxiety of having intercourse.
One big reason for anxiety is the fear of pregnancy. As I said earlier, your are 18 now and of legal age. You can and should be on some form of birth control. You do not need parental permission any longer for any medical procedure or to see any doctor. So ask your GYN for birth control medication that you and the doctor feel is right for you.
Next make sure the boy uses a condom. This not only adds another layer of protection, no pun intended, against pregnancy, but protects you from many, but not all STDS and the HIV/AID virus. Remember when you have unprotected sex with someone you are having sex with all those that have come before you that have had unprotected sex with this partner.
If you make sure to use condoms, get on birth control if you are not already on them. Masturbate to learn to relax you should be able to overcome this problem. IF none of this works then you should consult your GYN.
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