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I don't wanna live anymore;
I'm thinking of suicide. I have an amazing boyfriend but he doesn't now any of this. I really am depressed, and don't know what to do anymore. I'm 16 years old. I live with my mom, she doesn't really care for me, her boyfriend who i hate so much, he's always calling me names like the B' word, and a hoe and always trying to yell at me, he used to molest me when i was like 10 years old, but i just thought he was playing a game with me. I've also been really stressed, and doing bad in school, i don't really show it cause i know no one would really care, other than my boyfriend. I was raped when i was 8 years old and i can still remember every detail and all. I just don't feel like i fit in, i have no friends, everyone just left me, i used to cut myself, I'm thinking of doing it again. I just don't wanna live anymore. My real dad died when i was only 3 years old, i have so much pain inside if me, i just wish i'd die now, right now, i can't take anything anymore, I'm scared.
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i dont know if youre still like this is or not, because this was 5 months ago. im a little late.. but if you are still like this, i want you to know that i love you. you are important. no matter how shitty you feel, you are important. you are perfect and i am so so so sorry about your family. they have no right to treat you like that. you are not a hoe. you are not a bitch. you are perfect just the way you are. dont listen to they shit they have to say. please dont kill yourself. dont you wanna live so you can grow up and look back on all of this and say you made it? i promise you, things do get better. i know because i was in the exact same position you were in. cutting myself every night, plotting ways to kill myself, feeling alone, losing friends, getting bullied, being hated on, crying, wanting to die. i told myself things would never get better because i thought they wouldnt. i was so used to being sad that i didnt even care anymore. i wanted to die. but now im actually happy. things do get better, trust me. things always get worse before they get better. no matter how much shit you go through, remeber i love you and remeber you are worth it. you really are. i lore you. dont you ever leave me.
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