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I want to let it go and end it already.
I need a hand. I want to end it already but there's a few things holding me back. I have two kids. I serve in the military and I feel like everything I've done is worthless. I have a wife that loves to fight. I'm a deadbeat father and a loser. I want to know the best way to end it without it having so many aftermath financial issues. I'm looking for an honest answer. Please all positive people no offense but I don't need convincing to keep living. I can't do it anymore. Everything I've done is pointless and I can't take care of my kids. I don't own a gun or pain killers. I need a direction and not the direction turning back. This is not a call for help. I have a made upend and my kids will be better off. By alot. Please just let me know.
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I believe that no one here can help you and that you yourself must have the will to save yourself on your own. I know that is a tremendous thing to ask of you, but you should at least try. Why? Because I know what it feels like to be raised by a single parent.. and I know that the day after, 1 week later, 1, 2 and even 10-40 years down the road your kids are going to miss you. An when someone asks your kids about their father, wouldn't you rather have them say 'my dad was awesome and there for me when I needed' rather than 'my dad let himself go.. he wasn't thinking about how much it would hurt me' or 'I wish my Dad could have seen me now'?
The point is, by doing what you are thinking of, you are not helping anyone or thinking of anybody other than yourself. Not your kids, your grandkids to be and definitely not your friends. Sure, tell me I'm just wasting my time, for who am I to say kids should have their father.. for the real truth is: a father should have his kids. Think about that a moment... ... ... And if you would like to talk about this further, feel free to e-mail me at dezi689@hotmail.com.
*Thinking of you.
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