I am having depression problems and I need an outside perspective.
Question Posted Thursday April 4 2013, 8:54 pm
Ok. Where do I start.I lost my 7-8 year long best friend because of things out of my control. In other words, she hates me for reasons that I didn't do, but she thinks I did. My father died about 11 months ago. Other than my brother, those were my two closest people to me. Losing my best friend was hard, but I had my father there to keep me on my feet. I lost him slowly and painfully. I moved far away afterwards with my brother and a few other friends. I really love my household and they mean a lot to me, but anytime I try to talk about my emotional problems I feel as though they take it personally. Like they need to say the right things or they need to tell me how to fix it. I don't want to bring them down just because I feel down, but now I don't have anybody else to talk to. I have taken up working out which has been a great stress reliever, but I still have this underlying feeling of hopelessness. I feel like I have grown up too fast, I feel as though there are pieces missing from me and I can't find them. Lately, I have been getting better, but in the mornings I would feel no reason to get up. I keep trying to do things I like doing, but everything even that feels so pointless. I felt like everything was meaningless before losing my father, but in a good way. It freed me. I felt enlightened and carefree, but now I just feel so empty. I just want to feel alright again. I have suicidal thoughts, but it isn't that I want to kill myself. I just sometimes think about the relief of it, but I know I am going to get there someday and I am in no rush. I am not looking for you to have all the answers. I just need someone to tell this to who isn't going to be hurt by my words. Even though I love the people around me. I don't feel close to anyone anymore. I know it sounds silly, but in this world of 7 billion I feel alone. I am sure we all feel that way though.
lightoftruth answered Friday April 5 2013, 7:51 am: Well, like you said, many people feel alone at some point. Many people also grieve differently and what you are feeling is natural.
It's not always best and you don't always get what you need when you talk to family and friends about how you're feeling. Most of the time, it makes you feel worse.
What I really think you need is to try counseling. I think talking to someone else and having them help you through what has happened is best. It will definitely benefit you. So try that out and see if it does anything for you.
I mean you are trying, which I am really impressed. Most people who feel depressed just let themselves continue feeling that way instead of trying to get out there and do something. I'm glad you have strong will power.
Try counseling and see if it does something for you. [ lightoftruth's advice column | Ask lightoftruth A Question ]
sistapinkle answered Friday April 5 2013, 4:34 am: Well, my answers def.not brilliant but I can say that I most completely understand how you feel.I myself had lost a very close friend and a year later I lost my Father. Although I wasn't as close to him as you were to your Father, I still take it pretty hard. The only thing I can tell you is to keep your mind occupied. Going to the gym is awesome. Keep doing that. Are you in school? Join clubs, play sports, anything to keep your mind occupied on positive thoughts. If you cant talk to your family or friends because you don't always want to be the debbie downer you can try a counsler. If that doesnt work, Ive tried writing things down in a journal.
But basically keep positive and keep occupied or you'll end up like me some, washed up druggie always looking for the next buzz and youll go to rehab, and get arrested, and do a bunch of stupid crap and then you really wont want to wake up in the morning and face what youve become.
Grieving is going to take awhile, its natural. But dont let it overcome you. Thats all I can say. And I should be taking my own advice but I sometimes feel Im beyond that point of being fixed. But if I can help you to not get to that point, then I can say Ive done something in my life for once. [ sistapinkle's advice column | Ask sistapinkle A Question ]
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