|
Am I overreacting?
My husband and I have been together for 15 years. Our marriage has had it's ups and downs but we have managed to stay together. The problem we are having right now is too embarrassing for me to talk to with anyone else about. When I was looking at my husband's iPhone to see what time hehad called me since he asked me why I didn't answer his call. He was sitting right there with me. I noticed he had a text exchange from a former female coworker. I had asked him just a few days prior to that if be had heard anything from his former coworkers and he answered no. Anyway, the text was about them meeting for lunch but he was unable to because he was working out of town that day. He called her "quack!!!quack!!! with lots of exclamation marks. He said that was a nickname he called her because that was her ringtone on his phone and "Tall T" (her name is Theresa and she is short) Why she had her own special ringtone on his work phone I don't know. During this conversation she called him "My little red neck buddy" (he is 6'3" tall). He explicitly said "he was hoping to meet her for lunch"
but they were not in the same town so they agreed to make it another time. My concerns were the cutesy little nicknames they called each other seemed weird and inappropriate, and I saw no reason he should be meeting a former female coworker for lunch and why was he being so secretive? His response. They were just friends and nothing more and he was planning on meeting her with another former female coworker, yet the text said "meet you" no mention of anyone else. And she said "I am working" not "we are working". He has never said anything about being such good friends with her. He works with females sometimes in his work and they eat lunch together at times but I have no problems with that. I feel like he shouldn't be meeting a former female coworker that he has nothing in common with. At the company Christmas party she actually told dirty jokes to the whole roomful of people and wore a low cut blouse with her one breast hanging out that the company secretary had to tell her to cover up. And he wants to meet her for lunch. He tried to turn it around on me and told me that they were
"just friends" and I was overreacting. He said if I had a problem with it he wouldn't meet her. My guess is if he does I would be the last to know. I don't think there is anything going on now but I feel betrayed and I feel like he was pursuing her. It sounded like he was hitting on her. A few years ago at a family wedding a husband tried to beat him up because his wife said my husband kept touching her inappropriately. It was on a part bus and I was setting someplace else so was not aware of it till a few days later when my daughter told me about it. He said he drank too much and could not remember anything. My trust in him is just about gone. I can't get this out of my mind. He is home evenings and weekends but he works in different towns and could be doing whatever and I wouldn't know. Do you think I am overreacting?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well right now, you have nothing to accuse him of really. It could mean something, it also could not mean something.
If you saw flirty texts that were pretty clear about what was going on, then you should be worried.
You're not over reacting, you're being cautious.
As of right now, you should still trust him. He hasn't given you any reason not to except for when he was drunk at a wedding. That's why you're being cautious.
You are right, there is no real reason for him to be texting her and hanging out with her, even if they really are just friends.
Just tell him it makes you uncomfortable. If he goes anyways without telling you, then there is something wrong. If he stays, then good, he doesn't want to go through the trouble.
]
There are to many red flags here.
1, An explaination for the ringtone is that he uses it to tell the difference between wife and coworker.
Sounds like he is hiding something and could even be cheating.
]
More Questions: |