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What are some red flags I should look for in him?
So basically for the last few months I was seeing a few guys here and there between work but none of them clicked enough with me to make it to more than a friend level. In fact I only went out on a first date with three of them in a couple month span and the rest of them just faded in to the background and eventually vanished or they lost interest.
I had given it a rest for about a month as I honestly got tired of trying, I went back to focusing strictly on work and totally forgot about dating. Then at work a new boy hit the floor (I work as tech support).
I didn't take much notice of him at first as like I said I was really focused on work but I did see him once or twice always hanging out with some other girl who I assumed was his girlfriend.
I happened to sit by him one day when we consolidated at work (when groups at work move closer to other groups for security reasons) and we started talking after a couple hours. It turned out we had a few things in common but I didn't think much of it because I still considered the girl across from him his girlfriend.
We didn't talk much the next few weeks but when we did we got along and I found out how successful he was at his new job and thought higher of him than previously as I figured he was just another face on the ever changing floor. At some point I grew a tad fond of him and a little disappointed that he had a girlfriend as he dressed very nicely, was very funny and intelligent while remaining polite and quirky.
At work I caught myself talking to my friend Liz about him more than once and I knew at that point I had a crush on him.
One night we walked out of the building at the same time and pretty much fell over each other as I was trying to hold the door for him and he for me as we left. We wound up laughing about it and talking and out of pure curiosity I threw a line out asking if he had a facebook which he did and I later added him. I kept catching his eye the next few days and stumbling into shared time with him and found myself wondering about him at random moments during the day. It seemed like every time we talked there was some sort of whisper of chemistry and caught each other looking across the room towards one another several times.
I then had an unexpected day off of work when the center needed to be shut down for maintenance and posted the night before jokingly that I was going to be so bored tomorrow that the first person to like my status could come out for sushi and a movie with me my treat. I figured my friend Liz would jump at it but to my surprise (and joy) he commented on my status saying he was free as well but that it wouldn't be my treat (as in he was going to pay). We exchanged numbers and texted the rest of the night. The next day a boy I had met at a party whom I had a terrible crush on after cuddling on the couch with popped back into my life asking me to give him a chance and begged me to go out with him the same day. I was thrilled at first as I had really liked him and as he hadn't spoken to me in the weeks past since the party I figured he was just drunk and I was just naive. He then planned a date with me and I figured I would put a rain check on the boy from work. I was getting ready when party boy cancelled on me to hang out with his guy friends. I was absolutely devastated and felt like it was all a cruel joke and spent some time crying over my stupidity. I decided I most definitely would not go out.
However my mother convinced me into it after talking to her about it and I took a chance and went out him not expecting anything.
It turned into the best night I've had in a long time. We took a walk around the victorian section of town, went out for sushi, walked for hours at the square just talking and then at around 10:30 I figured I should head home. Instead he mentioned seeing a movie and we went back to my place to decide on one and wound up catching a midnight film that lasted until 2am.
He was very polite, holding all of the doors for me and paying for everything. He dressed very nicely (long sleeve polo, dress slacks, oxford shoes and neatly combed hair) and we really had fun. I was so delighted by the end of the night I kissed him not once but twice which I NEVER do on a first date. We got along terrific and spent most of the night laughing and sharing life stories.
The next day at work was a little awkward he ate lunch with me but he didn't hug me good bye at the end of day instead he walked off with that girl after just a "bye" and I was upset thinking he'd become uninterested. Later on he texted me and asked why I seemed upset and how he really didn't want me to be sad. I feigned it that it was some dumb reason and not to worry about it and we texted for a few hours before he asked me on another date to my happiness.
Today at work we took lunch and break together and he walked me to my car as well as hugged me good night. We texted for a few hours and it turned into sweet little comments back and forth. We plan to go out again tomorrow night.
I noticed today at break he said once a week or so him and his chick friend go out to eat but apparently she's engaged and he says he's definitely not interested in her she's just a friend he's had for a while.
I really like him but I'm kind of worried about that girl. He seems so perfect to me being so successful, attractive, not too tall for me (I'm short), funny,intelligent,classy, quirky and polite. It's almost like a dream that he would have mutual feelings for me when he seems like EXACTLY my type. He's a little shy/awkward at times and he has a tad bit of a speech impediment,also he told me sometimes he has a weird tick that he can't control but that doesn't bother me as I've already gotten used to the other things and I feel as though you shouldn't judge somebody by something they can't control.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
No man(or woman) is perfect so calm down. Jealously will hurt you. What ends many relationships is trust. You need to trust him and he needs to be honest. If something goes wrong don't get devastated. When you get into such a large amount of sadness you are vulnerable. You have to be strong. Be truthful but don't give him too much slack. Calm the jealously.
Talk to the chick. If there is nothing to hide then she'll talk. Be friends with her. Then you'll know if she can be trusted and you have a friend.
Love you blessed be.
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