I don't think i love this guy anymore that loves me so much, idk what to do
Question Posted Thursday January 31 2013, 7:10 pm
Theres a guy that was my boyfriend for a year. We ended up breaking up but he is still madly in love with me. I don't really know if i love him but i care about him alot. We are taking a break from talking for a week and it is super hard for him. I feel kind of relieved to have this time to myself. I already show that i don't have loving feelings with him anymore. Whenever i show him that i don't feel right anymore in this situation, he gets super sad and i can't take it; i'm always feeling awful. I don't know how to push myself to stop showing signs of affection. By me staying and pretending to still have feelings for him is confusing him. I feel like i'm playing with his emotions. I need to stop but i don't know how. I really don't want to hurt him, it kills me. Someone please help i'm going insane.
Eventually, I cut off all communication with the guy. He blocked my number, we didn't talk on Facebook, we didn't talk when we saw each other in person, etc. This went on for over six months, until he really felt ready and comfortable to talk to me without getting depressed.
It's really hard - it may be harder on you than him. But it is probably best for him not to talk to you. It's easier to get over someone when you do not constantly have to think of them.
That is the ultimate way to stop showing affection, but it needs to be his choice, too. Tell him that you care about him as a friend and you cherish the time you spent together; but you believe that it is in his best interest to take an break from speaking to and seeing you. Ask him if he thinks you're right.
He will probably resist at first, but once you demonstrate that you are really over him and that he has no choice but to move on, he may choose to stop speaking to you for some time.
Xui answered Thursday January 31 2013, 10:21 pm: You allowing yourself guilt by remaining in contact with him. As long as he is in contact you are never going to allow yourself to move on. We can care about someone but that doesn't mean that person is right for us . You said it, You are relieved you are no longer with him. I think it is great you realize that as nobody should live in misery. However you owe it too yourself to move forward and not be dragged down by his neediness. [ Xui's advice column | Ask Xui A Question ]
Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content. Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.