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How can I make it up to this friend?
I am from Egypt.
Before you proceed, please make sure you're open-minded
I am probably the worst person ever. I have betrayed my best friend.
I will tell you my story honestly with nothing to hide.
It all started 4 years ago. I was 13 years old. I had known my friends since I was 4 years old. They were my childhood friends, and the ones you don't take care of while choosing. I was the friend who everyone turned to when they had troubles. They never remembered me except when they had a problem and needed someone to talk to. I was always there for them. On the other hand, they were never there for me when I needed them. In fact, they even bullied me sometimes and made fun of me at class. I laughed with them to pass the moment, but I would remember it every night and cry. I even created a world for me in my mind where I had good friends. I wasn't sociable at all. But one day, when I went back from school, I couldn't hold myself and I kept on crying and crying for the whole day. It's at that time I decided to change. I decided to stop caring for them all, and never to cry again. I decided to toughen up! And I did as planned. And because I felt lonely as ever, I actually created a fake profile on facebook and started treating this profile as my friend and this is when my life took a tuning point.
There was that guy I knew through facebook from my real account and we started talking. He was a very nice and funny person. He even taught me many things about life. He was 3 years older. We talked every night and every day.
One day, he asked about that fake profile and I said it was my friend. He started sending the fake profile messages and stuff, although he never saw the girl. I ignored his messages for some days, but he never gave up! So I would reply after he sent the message by 3 days or so. He was flirting. I knew he was playing because he never saw the girl. So I started replying and flirting back. When he asked to see that fake profile, I replied through the fake profile saying that I'm travelling and when I come back we'll see about this. We talked through this time, then I said I'll be travelling for a long time, and I might be back in a year. I knew nobody would bear this. And that he'll just give up in a few days and everything will be okay. I was 15 at that time which is 2 years ago. But he never gave up! We talked and talked and I actually started to like him, he liked that person he talked to too. And like turned into love.
He became a part of my day, that's why I didn't break up over the fights we had. I couldn't live without him. I started doing stuff he hates in the hope HE breaks up because I wasn't brave enough to do it.
I used to tell him about everything, movies I watch, fights I had. I shared with him good and bad moments,...everything. And we dated for 2 years lol. 2 years of constant lying. Until at the end, he was searching for her photos through google and found the real girl. That was 3 weeks ago. He asked to see the fake profile on webcam. I could show him the girl on webcam through fake webcam and I slept with the decision of doing it. Then the next day, he called me (real person) and asked me while he was shivering for the last time if that girl was fake or not. He discovered the other fake profiles I created for that girl to to her other friends, like supporting fake profiles to make it look real. I told him she was real. But after a few minutes, I thought about it again and thought to myself that if I made that girl go on skype for him using fake webcam, I'd never stop lying and I'll keep on lying to him because I loved him! But I decided just to tell the truth and stop this whole thing. It took me so much bravery to do it. To actually tell my best friend and kind of boy friend that I was lying to him for 2 years straight. He kept crying and I cried to. He called me a devil. I felt to guilty. I couldn't eat for 2 days. Then I called him again after a week because I was afraid he'd think I didn't care about him on the first place, so I called him from another phone because he wouldn't reply to me. And I kept telling him I was sorry and stuff, and at the end he hung up. I sent him a message a few days later and told him I was sorry. But he cursed me. He didn't say he doesn't want to talk to me again or anything, but on they new year's eve, I sent him another message saying I had to tell you Happy new year best friend. He replied saying it's gonna be the best year ever because you won't be in it.
I understand that he's so mad at me and will never talk to me again, but please help me, I really don't want to lose a great friend like him. I was mistaken so greatly and I admit that, but what can I do now?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Honestly, There may be little hope he will come around. You not only lied too him but you lied too yourself. You spent so much time convincing yourself this person was real that you lead to believe yourself that you were in love with him. This person was not in love with you, but the person that you created. Not too be harsh but you wasted his time and you have wasted yours.
The only thing I can really give you credit for is leaving your old friends. Instead of creating fake profiles, you should of tried to make new friends. In a way I do not really blame him for being angry as he no longer trust you. You lied too him and led him on for two years. Sometimes all you can do is face the consequences to your actions. Now the best advice I can give you is too leave him alone and let him move on from it.
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