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Im in love with my guy friend
I used to talk to a guy about 3 years ago and we met through a mutual friend who is also my best friend. We never did more than hug and we ended it not long after we met but we have stayed in touch on and off for the past 3 years. Over the past 6 months we have started to become closer and hangout all the time. It's clear that he likes me...he invited me to his parents house for Christmas dinner, he flirts with me a lot when we hangout, he has asked me more than once to transfer colleges back to my hometown where he lives, and recently he put his hand on my leg in the car it felt so good to feel him touch me this way but I knew it was wrong so I pushed his hand away. I want to be with him so bad but he has a girlfriend and they've been together for a while and I refuse to become "the other girl" and to cheat on his girlfriend. I need advice on what to do about this situation...should I tell him?
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Yes, you should tell him. Because if you do not, you may be setting yourself up for a lifetime of regret, wondering for years to come what might have been.
You don't have to be "the other girl", nor should you be. He has a Girlfriend, not a wife. And it is not wrong to express feelings to a guy who has a girlfriend; it's only wrong to pursue a secret relationship with him behind her back. If he chooses to break up with her and be with you instead, that sucks for her, but there is nothing dishonest or morally wrong with it.
The ONLY reason why you might not want to tell him is if he's made it clear that he does not return any such feelings, and you know it would be futile - but that doesn't seem to be the case here. It seems like he may be interested in you as well. From what you describe, it's impossible to know if he's any more than "interested".
I think that perhaps he DOES feel something more than friendship for you, and that he's been "testing the waters", so to speak. He wants to see how you react to a little flirtation or an intimate touch. He wants to know if there's a reason why he should break up with his girlfriend. Please bear in mind that I might be completely wrong about this, but the signs are there.
I suggest you get him alone sometime and tell him exactly how you feel. If he doesn't feel the same way, you may have your heart broken; that's the risk you must take. But there is no reward without risk, especially when it comes to love. And in the end, even heartbreak is better than regret.
Best of luck to you!
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