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Should I give my child up for adoption?
I can't believe I'm actually at this point. I'm due in May, and something just happened tonight that scared me to the point of considering this. My husband is, and has been, stuck in TRADOC for almost two years because he's being medically discharged from the Army for having three herniated discs brought on by the training. TRADOC is just an acronym meaning you're in training and not in the "real" Army. So being in an environment where they treat you like crap for almost two years he has slowly been slipping into madness.
He called me at 11:30pm tonight, it's after 2am right now as I right this. I can't sleep. He asked how much gas I have in the car and said I had enough to go to base and give him his two handguns fully loaded. I instantly had that sharp sick feeling overcome me. I asked him why and he said don't worry about it. I said I refused to take him two fully loaded hand guns and to try and fall asleep. He said he couldn't. He snapped because he heard someone in a different bunk talking sh** about him. I couldn't believe that was what set him off, I mean, no matter what in life people are always going to talk about you. I stayed on the phone with him to calm him down. And I tried to call his unit's CQ office to tell them, but no one answered. What a nightmare right? As far as I know he went to bed. I can't sleep because it's like I'm waiting for a call about him doing something. It is so stressful, and sometimes I get depressed thinking "Who the hell did I marry??".
This isn't the first time he's presented signs of being mentally unstable. It's starting to really scare me, and I DON'T NEED THE STRESS. I mean, I got woken up at 11:30 and it's after 2 right now.. I don't need this, you know? I told him that and he made it seem like it was all about him. And it has made me think of how scary it is that I'm carrying HIS CHILD.
Do I want to raise a child with an unstable father? What if he ends up being institutionalized, or actually hurts someone or himself? I plan on calling SOMEONE in his unit to tell them about this, I won't just let it go. But, what if he ends up completely losing his mind and then this child will have a crazy father? What if I end up leaving him because I can't handle it anymore? And if I do leave him, would I be able to support this child all on my own? (I'm 21) I definitely wouldn't feel comfortable leaving our kid with him alone if it ever came to that. I've been here for him and I've tried to help. What if it never gets better? I want nothing more than for this baby to have an amazing life. I come from a broken family, so I don't want the same experience for my child. No life is perfect but I keep thinking how my baby would probably have a better life with a couple where neither of the parents have list their mind.
What should I do? I've been crying about this. I'm so lost, and I want the best for my baby but then I also want to keep it. I know I'd never be the same again, but it's not about ME right? What is the right thing to do? Not what's the easiest, or the hardest thing to do - the RIGHT thing to do. If this escalates, or never gets better after he's out WHAT SHOULD I DO? Leave him and give my baby up for adoption in the hopes of them providing a more stable environment, or just wait it all out and see how it goes?
I really don't know what I should do. And I'm really sad about it all. Please help me.
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Hi there. I'm sorry to hear about your problem. It really is a tough decision to make and there is no right decision either. You honestly have to do what is best for you. Your husband seems to be suffering from PTSD. There is help for it but the success rates of getting over the issue is something I'm not well aware of. I'm no psychologist. I understand when you say you are from a broken family but does that really mean that because you are from a broken family, you can't raise a child, with the possibility that it will be on your own? I would honestly try to see how life would be different with your husband away from taht environment first before you make the decision and make sure he seeks professional help. I know you say the baby is due really soon. Leaving your husband too might make him escape into more madness too, he might even come after you for all you know if you decide to leave him and give your baby up for adoption. I think you need to think rationally and fast and try to see if you yourself are able to provide for your baby and try to talk to a doctor/psychologist/psychiatrist/therapist and explain your husbands symptoms and see what they make of it. Try to rule out all possibilities of you keeping your baby first before you decide to give him/her up. The last thing you want to do is live with regret. I hope things work out for you. Take care.
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