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Being friends with my ex is messing with my current relationship!
Sorta long but please read! 21/F
So my ex and I dated for about 5 years and broke up about 3 months ago because I'm graduating college in the spring and when I do I want to get a place of my own and start a life and I could tell that he wasn't ready for that so we broke up. Well I started dating this new guy and he is "paper" perfect, except he can be quite needy and insecure which I was patient with because I've been like that before after my fair share of horrible relationships.
Anyways, my ex and I decided that we should at least try to be friends which was fine until we had the "why did we break up talk". We didn't even mean to have it but we discussed it and it DIDN'T change anything, in the end we agreed that this is what's best. HOWEVER, ever since that night I've been feeling very distant from my current fling like everything he says and does has been getting on my nerves, it's to the point where I dread having to talk to him and we use to text and talk 24/7. I feel like he's been especially needy lately, maybe he can sense that I'm backing off? Because he'll say things like "do you hate me? are you trying to get rid of me? if you don't want to talk that's fine" and then when I don't reply he'll text me 5 minutes later saying "okay gotcha, adios" Do you think I'm acting this way because I'm talking to my ex again?? I'm beyond confused and I'm trying so hard to convince myself that i'm just being weird and I need to be nicer to him because really he's such a great guy but nothing is working. Is it just me or would that get on your nerves too?!
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Hey!
Firstly, stop stressing about it! Just stay calm and make sure you're thinking about this clearly. The new guy does seem nice, he probably is a nice guy but I think that's it. And maybe that's all he is to you. Just a guy. And yes, I do think you've started backing off a little from this guy because you talked to your ex. Why? Because the situation with you and your ex is unfinished business. That's why it's playing on your mind too much, you jumped in to this new fling before getting reassurance and getting your mind clear. I mean the things you have to think about is, why is this talk with your ex bothering you so much? Did you get to say everything you wanted to say? Are you sure you made the right decision? That type of thing. It could also be that because you spoke to your ex, you wanna figure everything out in your head and because of that you need your own space. And you can't have your own space if you have a new guy in your life. You just need space to sort things out, and maybe because of this, you might be subconsciously finding reasons to be irritated by this guy.
I hope I helped, seriously it's just that you and your ex are unfinished business, that's why you distanced yourself from this guy because all you need is just space, so that you can think and realize what it is you really want.
Good luck, I hope everything goes well =)
If you need any more advice, contact cc.advice@hotmail.com - your questions will be kept private and confidential, plus you'd get a fast reply! =)
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