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mother talking behind back
My mother is never satisfied and constantly talks about you behind your back about not spending time with them and not having a relationship with my child when i live in another state
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Unfortunately there is not much you can do about this situation. You are one of many children in the same position.
It is not fair to you and your family to pick up and relocate just so she can have a relationship with your child. She is the one that should have or will have the most free time and hopefully the surplus income to afford to come and visit you and her grandchild if she wants a better relationship with the child.
Many grandparents, my parents included, couldn't wait to retire and hit the open road to explore the country. They flew home for each holiday. In the summer each grandchild had 2 weeks of exclusive time with them in an area of the country they were interested in. My son was a regular visitor at Cape Canaveral and space camp thanks to his grandparents. Both of my nieces spent a summer in Alaska.
My parents were not alone in this type of grand-parenting. RV parks were filled with grandchildren each summer. Something you might want to suggest to your mother is she doesn't have to wait until she and your father retire either to do this. She can start now having your child visit for a week or so every summer if she really wants to have a closer relationship.
As for talking about you behind your back. I wish I had some good advice for you. Unfortunately I don't. Anything you say or do is only going to lead to an argument and hard feelings between you. This is just the way your mother has of getting sympathy from her friends for what she perceives as a slight from you for having your own life. Yes, its wrong but to confront her about it won't help, it will only confirm in her mind she is right.
About the only suggestion I could make that might be useful is if there is an Aunt or Uncle who might be willing to talk to her and explain to her how hurtful her talking about you is to you. This may or may not work though it is worth a try.
Otherwise you must live far enough away that you can control how much time you must spend with her. Use that to protect yourself and your family from her hurtful expressing of what she perceives is wrong.
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