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Long distance, older guy
Hello,
I am currently 19 years old. When i was working for a concert, I met an awesome guy who was the sound engineer for one of the artists. He was kinda cute so when he asked for my number, I gave it to him. We talked continuously for weeks but he lives in Los Angeles and I live in Florida. He came to Florida for a show he had to do and I went to hangout with him a second time. We clicked really well and continued to talk all the time. He bought me a plane ticket to LA and I went and stayed with him for a few days and it was awesome. He told me he will try and see me again in a month or so. I really like him, but the problem is he is 31 and I'm only 19. I haven't felt this way about a person in a long time so I don't really know how to throw it all away. I don't wanna sound immature to him either. He says he likes me but I'm curious to see if he likes me as much as I like him. Is it worth it to continue talking or should I break it off?
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ok well, answer this questions in your head..
When your with him does it feel like hes 31?
Does it feel awkward around his friends?
Do you even sometimes forget that his 31 at times?
Ask yourself these questions and maybe talk to him about, if you are really comfortable with him then you shouldn't have to worry about what your age is.The good thing is that you're an adult and he is to.
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12 years is a big age difference when you're 19, but not SO big when you're 25 or so. I've dated some older guys (largest gap being 11 years at 22) and had great experiences with those relationships, it's not worth throwing away JUST on the basis of the age difference if you really feel there's a good connection.
However. There some other issues to consider here, and they are correlated to each other. If you can only see each other occasionally because of the long-distance thing, then it could be that he wants a casual relationship with you while still being free to pursue other relationships while you're apart. I'm not saying that's necessarily a bad thing if you're both up for it, but he should be clear with you (and you should be honest with yourself about whether you're okay with this), if that's the case. Also, you'll probably want to make sure that he's not just looking for a young, hot girl to sleep with once in a while (the guys who will ONLY go for much younger girls are generally bad news) -- does he introduce you to his friends? Would he be willing to come and visit you? Be introduced to your friends? Does he keep in contact regularly while you're apart? Just paying attention to some of these things can help you figure that out. Or, if you're bold enough, you can just ask him. ;)
Also, if the relationship isn't casual, and you both feel that strong connection to each other, the distance itself could be a huge issue. It's hard enough when two people with an established relationship have to spend some time doing the long-distance thing, but nearly impossible to both establish and maintain a relationship long-distance. It's hard to really get to know someone from across the country, and can be very lonely when you really want them there by your side. Keep in mind that there are plenty of guys in Florida that you could probably 'click with' equally well, if not better -- and they have the advantage of being able to keep you warm at night. ;)
So I wouldn't break it off immediately without giving it a chance, but keep these things in mind, talk to him about what he wants and really question yourself about what you want.
Hope this helps, good luck!
Pollux
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