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I made a mistake, what shold i do?
Okay so i already posted a question titled: "Did i make a mistake having sex with my boyfriend?" you can read that if you want to. Now. i realize the answer in my head was yes. We did use a condom but i was late by about 2 weeks so i took a pregnancy test, it was positive. I then told my boyfriend and he took me to the doctor, they confimred the pregnancy. He is being supportive, and says whatever decision i make, he will stand behind. I am happy he is being so nice, but i know he wants me to get an abortion. I am not basing my decision off his, but it will play into effective. I have not told anyone besides my boyfriend, I am frankly too scared to tell my parents, and i feel like other than them, i have no authority figuree to seek advice from. I fell scared and alone, I dont know wha to do. I am leaning away from abortion due to my religion, but it is still an option should it come to that. I don't know what to do, and would really love some input.
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Hi there,
You are very fortunate that, if you had to make a mistake like this, you did it with someone who isn't pressuring you into doing something you don't want to. Still, I am sorry you are having to make this choice in life.
I understand that you are scare to tell your parents, but that really is your best next step. Why? Well, no matter what you decide to do, the next step is going to be something you may want them involved in.
If you have an abortion, it isn't like they aren't going to know. You may not tell them, but if you take the time the read the hundreds of questions on this site from people who have had abortions and never been the same, the one recurring theme amongst them is that everybody they knows tells them they have changed, are depressed, etc... then they are left lying to everyone about why they are depressed.
So, best to assume that your parents will find out.
Unless you are planning not to have sex again, you may want your parents to help you arrange birth control, so you aren't in this spot again.
Now, if you have the baby... I don't mean to be funny, but your parents are eventually going to notice you getting a bit more pregnant as time goes by. :-)
I think everyone has done something they were afraid to tell their parents about. Everyone. I know I have, and some real winners too!
I look back on some of the stuff now, and the ONE thing that they all have in common is this:
My parents never, not one time... EVER... reacted as badly as I thought they would.
The key to this is that your parents love you, and want the best for you. Sure, there is going to be a moment of shock, and you can understand this, right? If it was your daughter, you would be a tad bit surprised, wouldn't you? After the initial shock wears off, you will find that they still love you, and only want to help.
The worst thing I ever did when I was in trouble, was delay telling my parents.
The ONE thing you do NOT want to happen in all this is for your parents to find out from someone else, and they will eventually as these things never stay secret... because if you don't tell them, they will never trust you again. They will always, from that point forward, think you are hiding things.
You will turn your parents from your best support system into your biggest doubters. Please don't make that mistake.
You said yourself that you have nobody else to talk to about this, and you already know that you desperately need someone to talk about this with in person.
You didn't mention it, so I thought I would: You only listed two options... but there is also adoption, if you decide you can't keep the baby. I have friends that had to wait 12 years to adopt, so it isn't like nobody wants another baby.
Don't get me wrong, if you have loving parents, a supportive partner and a good attitude towards the world, which all seems true with you, then you can raise a child and have a good outcome. Many people manage with worse situations.
Example: One of the best people I ever worked with was born to a single mother (14 years old), who was the daughter of a single mother who gave birth at 13. He grew up in the projects, and, according to everyone's expectations had NO chance in life but drugs, gangs, prison and death.
He joined the military, learned electronics got a job with me when he got out and now has a wife and kids of his own.
Is it a great deal of work to raise a child? Sure is.
Is it worth it? Ask your parents. :-)
Whatever decision you make, I wish you only the best.
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