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HELPPP! what should i do about my relationship with this guy?!
15/f and hes 15/f we've known each other since elemenatary school but we never i think had a class together or in middle school never really had classes together that we even talked in or hungout in the same crowds. but now that im a freshamn the classes are kinda divided into really smart, average, and below average. so we are both in the average classes and we have like every class together and talk in most of them. he got my number and we started talking(texting) about a month ago and we got along really really well if felt like we were really good friends for a long time. we are good friends i think of him almost like a brother to me becasue we can just talk about anyhting and everything and were just really open with eachother, i mean i get along really well with guys growing up with brothers but i could talk to this guy about my period for gods sake haha and we have like everything in common and he talks to me about girls and i dont really care that much and vice versa. but then he started giving me compliments about what a nice body i have and i didnt really take it seriously becasue i do get that alot from guys and im not a slut at all im not even a flirty girl i get that i come off rather cold and he is a flirty guy so we do balance each other out. and so then he started talking about hooking up and we both think each other is really attractive and so we were gonna hook up (just like makeout nothing more) and then we both started getting feelings for each other within that week but we never hooked up. he told me he like me first and then i said i liked him a little bit, but within like two or three days he got kinda shady and i didnt even know if i wanted a relationship so i jsut said like listen i dont want to ruin our friendship lets just go back to being friends. and i dont care if we hook up now i kind of want to but i didnt tell him this but if it happens it happens haha but he has been hinting at me that he kinda wants to. and to be honest i dont think it will be a bad thing because i told him flat out that i would not want a relationship thats serious with him i just want to be friends and then he said yeah same but he also wanted to hookup but thats it. like say we hook up and then next week he hooks up with another girl and i hookup with another guy i dont think it will really bother us. we both just want to be really casaul, still be friends with an open relationship but hook up occasioanly. the only thing is i am not very flirty, and i take my time wanting to like someone, so now that the weird phase of us liking each other is over now if we hookup i dont want to get feelings for him, i dont want to like him but i think i might becasue he just gets everything about me and i really like him as a person and i've told him that. so i dont know what to do..i feel like im in limbo with him and dont know what to. im a very direct person and we have really great communication so i've told him all this before and im confused what i want out of this?? thanksss
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Friends with benefits is a really hard thing to do for most people. 9 out of 10 times someone catches feelings which is normal. Especially at 15, when one day you may feel one way, and the next will be completely different. So if you're going to do the friends with bens thing you have to be totally honest with yourself.
Close your eyes and picture you hooking up with him, then picture him walking away and going to hook up with another girl right in front of your face, not caring a single bit. Does it bother you? If so then you might want to re-think this. When mixing romantic emotions things can get complicated, so you must be very clear with yourself and the other individual.
Also, going into any type of relationship with anyone is risky. You have to accept the fact that you are gambling and you might loose, but always know that no matter what you are fabulous, and you can not accept anything less then what you deserve. So if you think you deserve him committing tot you, then you need to resist temptation, and say, "Look I truly like you, and care about you, but I also truly care about myself, so if you can't commit then I think we should just keep things as they are". If he doesn't want to commit he's most likely worth having as a friend, but not as a boyfriend.
If you decided that you can really put emotions aside and keep it casual, then try to be aware of when feelings are developing. You can't control that from happening unfortunately, take it from someone who wished they could control their own feelings. Remember hooking up can be fun, but you are also dealing with your own feelings, as well as someone else's. It's still a type of relationship. So be aware, and be honest with with what you want. Remember that you deserve to be happy, and it should all be okay with whatever decision you make it should be a learning experience for the future.
Best Wishes!!
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I tried reading the whole thing...I really did. The only thing I want to point out, is that if you think of him as a brother you shouldn't be trying to make that any more than what it is supposed to be. That's why you can't make up your mind. But in the long run, you could have him in your life for years and years. But if you decide to try and make this into something else, it's not going to last too long.
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