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I don't want to be a lesbian or bisexual
I am a forty something female and still struggle. I was molested when I was a child by both sexes. I only realized the women molested me this year with a recent memory flash. However, I knew a few of lesbians sex positions when I was young, but did not understand how I knew this. Most of my childhood was a blank and have been coming back through flashes of memory. I had a boyfriend when I was much younger but men tend to be too aggressive. A few times in my life I've had thoughts about being with a woman, but have never been attracted to women. Recently I just cannot seem to shake these thoughts. I have always wanted to marry a man but these thoughts are taking over my mind. Plus my religion is against this.
I forgot to add that I had a girlfriend when I was 9 or 10, wanting to do what I learned from the women. Since I am having these thoughts of being with a woman now, does this mean that I am a lesbian or bisexual? Or am I just confused because of the abuse?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Abusive Relationships?
I don't believe you will get any better answers today then you received yesterday.
Yesterday I suggested you contact RAINN. The people at RAINN are better trained then any of us to help you.
Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE. I urge you to call them now. The memory flashes will continue and you will not be able to obtain the life you want without the proper help. You have nothing to loose and everything to gain by calling them. The call is free and so is their help.
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It could be either or. But most who experience sexual abuse at a young age, by the same gender, tend to get confused. May not be early in life, it can hit at any time. Perhaps speaking with a therapist may help. It is not unnatural to think about being with the same gender. Many people think of it. Most just don't say anything. It does not necessarily mean that you are a homosexual or bisexual. Did you ever speak with a therapist about the abuse you had endured? They may be able to help you cope and understand.
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