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Major relapse :(
M/17
I can't keep doing this. I've been trying to end a porn addiction, a shemale porn addiction. It started 3 years ago while looking at normal porn. There've been times where I'd go a few days without it. At one point 5 days had me feeling great until I relapsed on a bad day. Every time I try, I start to feel better, but then any little annoyance would make me mad and I'd relapse. Well, I just broke my longest run, 18 days. I'm pissed and I feel like crap. During the 18 days, my moods were going crazy. Then there's the whole gay thing, I don't feel gay at all. I get obsessed over girls easily. I was attracted to the shemale porn because of how feminine and different they were. I really want to get out of this phase. It's really hard to stop it. Especially when nobody knows and nobody would expect it. And on this stressful senior year. I believe any porn is bad and I believe it messes me up.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Believe it or not, there are a lot of straight guys who are into things like she-male porn (and all kinds of other kink!) So if you're worried about being gay, don't worry about it. You're just experimenting.
I'm curious about why you feel like you're addicted to porn. Is it disrupting your life, somehow? If you were raised in a strict or a really religious environment that taught you that porn was bad, then heck, no wonder you're stressed out about it! You've discovered that you're turned on by something that you've been taught was bad! But part of growing up is learning that 1) whatever turns you on, turns you on, and 2) as long as you're not hurting anyone (or any animals) or breaking any laws, it's OKAY! You'll feel a lot less stress if you just learn to shrug your shoulders over these kinds of things, accept them for what they are -- your own personal kinks -- and move on. And focus on... oh, I don't know... your stressful senior year, maybe.
There are some pretty concrete signs of addiction, though, and if you truly ARE addicted, then you're smart to seek help early. Here's a link to an article written describing symptoms of addiction to pornography:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
If you read this list and decide that you really are addicted, there is a 12-step group based on the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous called Porn Addicts Anonymous that has phone conference meetings that you can participate in. You may need support quitting the habit. Here's a link to that resource: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Let us know how you're doing, okay? And cut yourself some slack! You're learning who you are, what you like, and what you want out of life, and that's no easy task. No worries.
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Last part first. There is not anything really wrong with pornography. Pornography, legal porn, is a great way to relieve sexual tension and is used by many as visual stimulation to masturbate with. Their are certain parts of society that view porn as otherwise but these people also view almost anything else that is legal and give pleasure as wrong too. This would include alcohol smoking, make-up and certain types of clothing that may reveal to much of a womens body.
Pornography is legal and as long as you are not totally consumed by it to the extent that you do nothing but watch porn. You should not beat yourself up over this. IF you find watching it a stress reliever for all the stress of your senior year I as an adult see nothing wrong with it. If your parents are not finding ways of blocking it then I would have to assume they are not totally against your viewing it as I am sure they are aware it is all over the web.
Now as to watching shemale porn. This does not make you gay. Everyone has their fetishes and this is all this is if you are aware that it is something that the image of how feminine they look that interests you and not that you wish to have sex with them. I agree with you that some of these shemales look more female and are as pretty or more pretty than many females. Frankly and if I can be a little crass here. It isn't until you get into the area below their waist and in their underwear that you can tell that they are not female.
From the waist up they are every bit female and they all seem to have great legs and butts. A lot of men have been fooled by them and some never find out if they never try to have intercourse with them.
So as long as this is just a fetish, an interest and not a desire to be one or have sex with one. My advice is not beat yourself up over this. At some point I would say you will, shall we say, out grow this or become satisfied with your interest and find something else to view.
Your still young and you are still exploring your sexuality. This is nothing to be ashamed about. I believe your fetish or interest will make you more tolerant of the shemale should you ever meet one.
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