Does he really still have feelings for me or is he just using me to fill the gap until he finds someone else?
Question Posted Sunday September 16 2012, 2:33 am
20/f: I broke up with my ex 1.5 years ago (together for 2 years and last few months were long-distance). Since then, there have been times when he wanted to get back together but I didn't, or when I wanted to but he didn't. We tried to stay friends but one of us would eventually be unable to keep that up.
He told me that when I went home, he wanted to see me, but he never contacted me. I didn't contact him either because I assumed that since he brought it up, if he wasn't making plans, he didn't want to see me anymore. The summer passed, and he brought it up only a week before I left, so I didn't have time anymore. I was annoyed that it had taken him so long, so I was pretty cold to him. I told myself that this whole mess with him was holding me back from moving on and that once I got back to school, I'd leave it in the past.
Unfortunately, I contacted him about 2 weeks ago. He said he wanted to call and asked why I'd been so unfriendly. I explained and we talked for a while. He asked to videochat; most of it was just catching up, but he kept throwing in compliments on how good I still looked and how he missed the times when we were together.
He refused to get back together when I wanted to because of distance. He told me that he couldn't be in a relationship where he couldn't see the other person every day. I was so hurt because I thought that if you really love someone, you'll endure whatever you have to, even distance. Eventually I gave up trying to get him back and I thought I'd moved on, but then he contacted me again.
I don't understand what he's thinking right now. Why would he compliment me and bring up the past? Why can't he just tell me directly if he still has feelings for me? I'm not sure if he does or if he's just messing with me. I hurt him so much when I broke up with him, so what if he's doing all this just to get back at me?
Sorry for the long post, but I'm so confused. Does he really still have feelings for me or is he just using me to fill the gap until he finds someone else? And if he does, why can't he be more direct with me?
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? advice_gurl101 answered Sunday September 16 2012, 5:41 am: In my honest opinion, he really just using you to fill in the gaps until he finds someone else. I asked my boyfriend for his opinion. He said if he really liked you he would be willing to try long distance. Like you said on your post, he does not want to do long distance because he could not see the person everyday, but yet he keeps trying to contact you. In my opinion he is just lonely, and trying to fill in the gaps until he can find someone else. My advice is you should ask him directly, if he still have feelings for you. If he can't be direct than say it be the best if you both don't talk to each other. Because you need to move on. It seems like he doesn't really want get back together. best advice is you be direct with him. Hope it helps. [ advice_gurl101's advice column | Ask advice_gurl101 A Question ]
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