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In love with someone who...doesn't exist?
Oh dear, I'm going to sound insane. But I've been wondering if I actually should get professional help. Thanks in advance for everyone who reads and responds.
One day the vague shape of a character came to mind. I'm a writer, so this isn't rare for me. But for some reason, I was extremely interested in this character. I tried to forget about her, but I simply couldn't. Still, this was fairly normal for me. So I began paying more attention and, like any any other character, started fleshing her personality out. My interested still didn't falter.
So that was how she first came to mind. Ever since then, she drifts around in my mind, coming to thought every minute or so. I'm a girl, and I'm not homosexual either, so it was strange for me to love this female character so deeply. I've had boyfriends before, and while most of them were great, the feelings I had for them don't compare to the feelings I have for this character.
I've heard of people falling in love with anime characters, or characters from a book, but they all forget about them in a relativity short time. It's been four, nearly five years for me, and nothing has changed but a deeper and deeper personality for said character.
People say to get help if it interferes with your daily life. Well, what would count as interference? She comes to mind every other minute, but I still hold many relationships with real people. If there were to be a happy afterlife, it wouldn't be complete without her there. I've never told anyone about this, and I've only decided to ask here because of the anonymity of this site.
I know this isn't exactly normal, but is it abnormal enough to be considered harmful? I really don't want to go to any therapist, because I don't/can't forget about her. I would never do it.
Please no rude answers.
On another note, one day I was browsing the web and I came across a disorder called Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder. I don't know if it's 'real' or not, but I do indeed display some of the tendencies that are linked to the disorder.
I know this question was long, so I'm sorry, but it was difficult to explain briefly.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
This is very typical of a creative mind. Sometimes insanity is mistaken for being an overactive thinker. I'm a visual artist and I'm very attracted to this woman I paint and draw very often. It just means you are someone who is very involved in their work, and therefore, committed. Conclusively, crazy people don't know they are crazy. :) So if you think you're crazy, you must not be. But if you still think you should talk to someone, find a counselor or someone in your area. If they think there is something wrong with you, they'll send you to a psychiatrist.
Just relax and keep up with your writing. You sound like you're very good at it :D
I hope I helped.
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Is it at all possible that maybe the female character that you are so fond of in your thoughts is perhaps a reflection of the person you'd like to be? Then again, is it possibly the type of person you'd want in a friend, significant other, or family member? Are those possibilities at all? It may not be but that was the first thing that came to mind when I was reading your question, but I could also not be understanding the way you view this character.
There have been moments throughout my life where I've seen, read, or even thought up myself a type of person that I just loved because it was what I wanted to see in myself, a friend, or a boyfriend, even slight moments in a family member.
When my grandfather passed away, I was reading a book and the character just had so many characteristics of my grandpa that as I read the book I pictured him and fell in love with the character more and more.
In addition, there are traits I've thought of over the years that I wish to aspire to myself. Someone beautiful but humble, strong but compassionate, fearless but loveable... Things like that.
I'm not sure if it's the same thing but what exactly about this character you've envisioned do you love? Maybe it's reflecting what you ALREADY love in yourself or another person?
Again, these are just some possibilities I suppose. It's what first popped in my head. You could talk to someone such as a professional about this if necessary without losing this girl if you felt it was needed.
I THINK what it's meant to have something interfere with your everyday life is, does this character prevent you from being with a guy or a girl in a relationship? Does it prevent you from focusing on school/work? Does it prevent you from spending time with family or friends? Does it interfere with hobbies you once had and enjoyed? Can you still sleep at night and function through your daily tasks appropriately? If those things aren't an issue then in my OPINION it's not "DANGEROUS."
I hope I was able to help somewhat, if not I sincerely apologize and hope someone else can give better insight. :) Good luck!
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