|
break up
So, im 20 f and my boyfriend is 21 m
My boyfriend and i have been dating for almost 2 years. I love him the death. Recently i havent been happy. He moved out of his house and money has been a huge issue. I do EVERYTHING for him. i do the dishes, i do his laundry, i clean everything, i mostly pay for A LOT. i understand he doesnt have money because hes paying for rent and tv etc. but i dont have the money either figuring im only a waitress. i pay for a lot of grocies and anytime we go out, i mostly pay.. So i was kinda getting fed up with it figuring i want to be his girlfriend not his mom. Our realtionship was PERFECT before he moved out. So since i was unhappy i wanted to tell him how i felt. i went to his house, he couldnt give me the time to sit down and talk about things, i started off as im tired of worrying about him before i worry about myself. I hate how i feel guilty going out because he is on his own for dinner. He got mad and walked away..so now im sitting here on the couch about to leave because i came over to talk. So i went to leave and he was like your really going to leave? and i was like yeah, i dont understand why you are being so cold. i honestly think we need a break from each other so we can appericate our time more. His response was honestly, i just dont want to see you at all. (that HURT my feelings so bad!) so i was like well if you change your mind, call me. This was the other day. Legit i have been crying my eyes out im depressed, he wont answer my texts. i dont know what to do. i feel like if i was ready to move on i wouldnt feel like this. did i make the right decision? i dont know what to do. i dont want to move on and im not even thinking about being with other people. i dont know what to do :( i am so regretting telling him my feelings. what hurt the most too, was when i left he didnt even run after me. didnt even want to save our realtionship i feel as if it was on a thread and he just cut it off... any response to this? thanks
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
My impression is that you're codependent. You're obviously trying to save this loser and, when you decided to take a break from propping his deadbeat ass up, you were dismayed to find that your rescue attempts went unappreciated. The guy is dysfunctional. Admit it and move on!
Listen, you can't do this. It's unhealthy. See a therapist or you will repeat this nightmare again.
]
I think you should give him time.
It was the best thing to do, to speak to him and explain how you felt. A relationship is about being equals. You should both be allowed to express how you feel.
He was hurt, but maybe mostly embarrassed.
You should both be allowed to communicate with each other, without the other blowing up.
But like I said, just give him some time to think. He is probably hurting as well , and is contemplating what to say or do.
However, did you mean what you said regarding taking a break? If you didn't, then maybe you should contact him*. If you did, then maybe it is time for you to both take some time to do your own thing.
*If you do want to contact him, write him a nice email/facebook message/letter. Explain to him how you have been feeling. Tell him exactly why you did what you did. Don't sugar coat it. Explain that you didn't mean what you said (only if you didn't mean it), and that it would be really nice to meet up for a drink when he's free.
Let him mull over what you are saying. Don't keep texting him.
But you should keep in mind, that if he meant that he didn't want to see you again, then you may need to start the getting over him process. Keep yourself busy, go out with friends, and meet new people. It won't be easy. But don't make excuses. It's going to take time, and it may be very hard. But again, just keep yourself busy.
Good luck!
]
More Questions: |