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Should I keep paying his bills?
So, I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and when he was working, he paid for some of my bills. He quit his job about a year ago due to the stress of the job and hasn't been able to find another one since. Since then I've been paying for his bills including his car insurance, internet, and phone. People often tell me that I shouldn't, or at least should cancel the insurance and internet.
I feel like it's a loyalty thing. He paid for some of my bills when I wasn't working so isn't it the right thing to do the same for him?
Also, when I talk to him about it he gets upset because it's more stress that he can't find work, and feels that things will be tougher for us if I cancel some of the stuff or don't pay for it.
Any ideas as to what I should do? Should I keep paying his bills or is that wrong? Well, let me know what you guys think, and also what might be a good way to work this stuff out. Thanks!
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Surely, he can re-start his insurance if and when he gets a job?
And how far does he live from the library/you? Do you have a computer that he can borrow to do job applications? Can't he move closer to local amenities? Or walk? Abraham Lincoln walked 4 hours just to get to school, so it's not completely unrealistic.
What I'm trying to say is, when you're unemployed, you have to make sacrifices. When you're employed again, sure, go crazy. Spend it all if you must (of course a ludicrous idea, but possible). But until then, you have to tighten your belt. The whole world is doing it. It may be hard, but its something that is necessary.
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Well, this is tricky. Can you afford to pay his bills? Could he afford to pay your bills when he did? If you can't afford it, then you simply shouldn't.
And why can he not find a job? Has he tried collecting cans? Has he applied at McDonalds or KFC? They're always hiring. They're not the most glamorous jobs, but when you have responsibilities, not job is 'not good enough'.
And why does he get stressed if you simply speak to him? He's stressed IN work, and he's stressed OUT of work? Is he always stressed? He may need to see a doctor.
And why does he need a car if he doesn't work? Cars, Internet - these are luxuries. It may not seem like it in the 21st century, but you can actually live without these things. Tell him to use the library computers, and use public transport. If you can't pay your bills, then you don't need these things.
And how, POSSIBLY would things be tougher if you cancelled things? Surely it would be less of a burden. Unless that is, he NEEDS the internet to survive. In which case, there is a serious problem there straight away.
My advice? Stop paying the bills. It sounds like he is making excuses and freeloading. Don't get me wrong: I've been through that long period of unemployment. I know it can be demoralizing and hard to find work. But this "stress" of not having the internet seems bogus.
Speak to him. You are not obliged to do anything. If you can't afford, or are struggling with his payments, then you have to ask him to cut down.
But try to speak to him rationally about it. Without the whole "boohoo, If you cut my internet then our relationship will become strained and I'll become more stressed". Tell him to read a book whilst taking the bus.
Good luck, I hope I helped!
P.S. let me know how it goes? :)
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