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How do I help my boyfriend?
Ok so I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 19 it's a two year difference! we always talk about everything togeather, but when we start to hang out more he told me he smokes! I didn't like that he wasn't going to tell me until I heard his mom over the phone one day telling him his room smelled really bad and then of Course he had to tell me. After that I guess I didn't care and still hang out with him, until he kept thinking of smoking and then told me it mad him feel calm cause well he's the type of guy that is shy and always worries to much. He told me his friend had told him to smoke to feel calm. He also went through a lot of depression and takes medisone for it. He also thinks in a negative way I try to help him I just worry about him! Sometimes its very akward because i used to get depressed too but i ways seemed to control it without medicne so everytime he gets negative i try to help! What should I do?
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Well, I'm don't know the reason for his depression, but medicine may be necessary. If not, try to help him quit thinking in a negative way. Point out everything he has to be happy about. Everything he has to be grateful for, and trust me, there's probably a lot, as well as everything he could have to be happy about in the future.
As for the smoking, this is NEVER a good idea. There are other ways to calm yourself. Both of my granddads were big time smokers. My dad's dad smoked like the worst cigarettes there are called lucky strikes, and now he has ruined his lungs. He has to drag around an oxygen tank nearly everywhere he goes and he has a pacemaker. He's also had bad heart trouble and scares with cancer. My mom's dad has to go to frequent appointments with a cardiologist and lung doctor. A couple years ago, he had to have major heart surgery and afterwards, he was so pathetically hooked on smoking that he started again the day he got out of the hospital and, frighteningly, smoked around his oxygen tank, which can cause an explosion. He even had a heart attack when I was a little kid. You do not want your boyfriend to have these problems. I know he knows that smoking is bad for him, but let him know that these problems are not just possible, but likely if he's already smoking when he's this young. Tell him that if he was to have these problems, it wouldn't just affect him, but everyone who cares about him as well. Try to help him find a different way to deal with his depression and stress.
Hope I helped :)
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Are you talking about normal cigarettes?
Cigarettes do help smokers calm. At first, of course, it feels terrible, but a smoker gets used to this.
If you want to help him to stop, ask him to see his doctor. Or he could go cold turkey. Or he could go to the pharmacy and get nicotine gum or patches.
But it's going to be extremely difficult. If he doesn't want to stop, and enjoys it, then you can't really do anything about it. He's an adult, and if he likes it, he has the right to carry on.
We all know it's bad for our bodies. But he's old enough to make his own judgement about these things.
So if he wants to stop, help him by pointing him in the direction of help, i.e. doctors, gum, patches, etc. If he doesn't, then you will just have to get used to it.
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