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To suffer this night for my boyfriend, or to not
22 F Boyfriend 19
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 11 months now. I love him to death and he would do anything for me and loves me endlessly. But his mom is getting re-married in almost 2 weeks. This wouldn't be a problem if his mom stole $5,000 from him and lied to him about it behind his back just a few months ago. Him and his mom were close before this happened but now he won't answer her phone calls and can't even look at her face to face. My boyfriend respects and likes his soon to be step-dad. He doesn't know if he is going to be in the wedding though due to what his mom did behind his back. I told him I didn't think he should go and then he has his family who knows it's not right what his mom did but still thinks he should be in the wedding for the respect of his family and his soon to be step-dad. They are making him feel guilty beyond belief.
I told him I wouldn't be happy if he went and that I couldn't necessarily support it either. I know he's in a tough place. He's cried to me just talking about it because he has such a tough decision to make. I feel terrible now and am going to tell him that I will support him in whatever he decides to do. He told me that he knows I won't go to the wedding but he wishes I would to be there for him because if he did go it'd be a really hard day for him; having to see his mom and all. I'm now debating on whether or not to go just to support him and be there for him.
I wouldn't know anyone at this wedding. Only his mom (which I can barely even look at) his aunt and uncle and his grandparents. I'd have to go on the party bus with the wedding party since my boyfriend would be going, and I would basically be by myself half the time (well his uncle said I could be with him). But i still think it'd be awkward, not to mention i'm a shy/quiet girl to begin with. I'm starting to be torn. Do I go and suffer this awkward night just to support my boyfriend even though I would be stuck alone half the time?
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Who said it's suffering. All you have to do is go and support your boyfriend who is going to support his family. What his mom did is horrible, but family is still family. You can't go to this event with WAR and VENGEANCE on your mind. Now after the wedding, you and your boyfriend need to find a way to keep your money safer to the point where only the two of you have acess to it.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
P.S. Try to put yourself in his mom's shoes. If you had a son or daughter and the both of you got into a very huge argument, would you want him/her to show up to your wedding? How would you feel if they didn't show up?
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Hello.
I think you should go. I don't really agree with what you said you did earlier regarding telling him that you don't want him to go, because you should allow him to make the decision and then support him in whatever he decides. But like you said, you will say that, which is good.
I think you should definitely go because your boyfriend wants you to go. You will be there to support him, not to make friends or whatever. You just need to be civil. If he decides to talk to his mother, then you should do the same. No one is asking you to be bosom buddies, but say 'hello' and 'how are you' and just be civil.
Like you acknowledge, you are there to support your boyfriend. He is obviously finding this situation hard, and your job is to make it a little bit more endurable by being there for him, even if you will be alone. But you don't have to be: you don't know half the people, so this is a great way to get to know some people. Not everyone would have stabbed your boyfriend in the back, and so taking to people you don't know and getting to know them will help you pass the time and also to get to know the family.
There is not really much else I can say.
Good luck :)
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