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Should I tell my mom about past mistakes?
I'm 16 years old, female. When I was 15 I was in a bad place in my life and during my freshmen year of high school I slept with three guys. I wasn't ready to have sex and I regret it but I've moved on from it and I now have a completely different outlook. I'm not having sex again for a long time and I have good values and completely respect myself. Now that I have come to terms with my mistake and have completely changed I want to tell my mom what happened. We've always had a very open relationship and I don't like having secrets. I kept my 'bad girl' phase very well hidden so she has no clue I've done anything bad or immoral. I'm afraid if I tell her she'll think I'm a slut and won't believe that I've changed. I know she'll be disappointed in me but I feel like she should know . Should I tell her or continue to keep my secret?
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when i was 16 year old as well i was in the same place as you where. i slept with my boyfriend who was a year older with me and my parents didnt know about us dating either. i wanted to be with him forever but i never got pregnant we almost had sex that day. it's alway best to wait untell it time to get marry and have a baby or you will end up massing up your life.
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Moms' have away of knowing what their children are up to. She may not have known you were having sex but she may have suspected so. Not knowing your mom personally I will say that I believe if she knew for certain she would probably have said something.
Now being disappointed and being disappointed in you are two different things. I believe if you tell mom as you have said here; "that you were in a bad place" I think be disappointed and maybe a little hurt that you did not come to her so she could try to help you.
As for being disappointed in you I don't think so. I think, again based on what you have written, she will be happy that you have come to her. That you feel secure enough in your relationship with her not only to come to her but to unburden yourself to her.
Secrets are a burden. Trying to keep a secret causes stress for the person trying to hide something. Your mom probably sees something is bothering you and if hoping you will come to her.
Will she be disappointed and maybe a little angry that you had sex at such an early age. Probably, though she will also be relieved that you have come to her. This will give you both an opportunity to have a new and frank discussion on all things sexual and sex in general.
The fact that you regret having sex doesn't surprise me. Sex like many things is an experience that is enjoyed as you get old enough and mature enough to enjoy the pleasure it can bring. At 15 you were not mature enough, you or your partner, to have the type of relationship sex requires to have an enjoyable experience.
My vote is to talk with your mother but not to blind side her with this. Ask her to go shopping or to a coffee shop someplace where it is just the two of you. Tell her you have something you wish to tell her that is personal and private. That you would like to have her complete attention away from brothers or sisters and other distractions. Then turn off the cell phones and talk to her.
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