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Guy Friend Ungrateful or Too Busy; Should I contact?
I have been helping a guy friend for the past two years through a divorce. He has recently bought a new house, got his divorce and has a new girlfriend. Suddenly all the help, emotionally and physically such as moving, etc.that I provided is out the window and he has turned into an ungrateful self centered brat. I have listened to his whining about the divorce, moved furniture, stored it at my house, provided advice, a real estate agent, shopping for mattresses, babysitting for his kid, rearranged my schedule and life to help him during this period.
A month ago he said he would be a supportive friend to me at a going away party which he knew I would get emotional at. One of my best friends were moving. The day before he called for details and asked if the girlfriend could come and that he was coming to support me. Really, with the girlfriend along? I have tried to get to know her but she is always busy and I have a feeling she has no desire to get to know me. So, he showed up for about an hour, alone, checking his email the whole time and then left without even a goodbye! Seriously! I emailed later that night and thanked him for coming an told him that I felt that we were no longer friends due to the lack of respect lately and that his new girlfriend wanted nothing to do with me and that she was the winner of everything and I lost everything. Well, I never heard back from him and that was 8 days ago. I am refusing to reach out like I usually do and am going to wait until he contacts me. The question is when he will or even WILL HE? What should I do. I will probably see him in a few days. He has changed since the divorce and everyone told him not to date for a little while but he says she is perfect and so smart, etc. but when they are together he treats her no different than the rest of us and even talked her into babysitting when we all went to a festival. I thought that was tremendously rude but he said she offered since her friend who was suppose to babysit did not show up. All I know is that she did not look too happy about staying behind. I know I sound jealous, but I think I am more resentful that she was not there holding his hand the past two years and I did not even get a thank you. What do you think?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Have you tried to approach this friend in person and explain to him how you feel? I am not going to assume that it is, but he could possibly be influenced by his new girlfriend's jealousy? It's pretty hard to give good advice when I only hear one side of the story. There could be several reasons, Maybe he took advantage of the situation?
Either way, I agree with you. I would back off a little bit. If he needs something again just simply express how you felt unappreciated once he started dating again. If I were in your shoes I would probably decide to cut contact. Who does something for someone and not even get a thank you? Never mind that but the fact that this man would have the nerve to leave without showing respect to say goodbye would be my last nerve. I think you are wonderful to help someone but maybe this should be a lesson to not be so giving with certain people unfortunately.
Anyway, You do not sound a bit jealous to me at all. I believe you have a valid reason for how you feel.
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WELL YOU NEED TO TALK TO YOUR FRIEND! If he is acting different then you, being his best friend, are the only one who can tell him and let him know. You have to tell the truth and let him know how you really feel and tell him what's on your mind.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
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