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I don't want to live anymore
I don't want to live anymore. What's the point of it all? I've been running around in circles getting nowhere. I feel I've given out but not received much back. I'm divorced after my husband couldn't stand me anymore. I couldn't do anything right. I became repulsive to him. I married him because I thought noone else would marry me. Even he became repulsed by me. I tried to start my life over again but I don't seem to getting anywhere. I'm in debt and have applied for job after job but have not been successful. I don't know why because they never give me any feedback. I went back to uni to improve my education but I don't know if I'm getting anywhere with that either. I found out today I have just over $20 to survive on. What am I supposed to do? My family only talks to me when they want something and when I'm in need they are always busy and have no time. I've had suicidal thoughts before but now I realise this is my only option. I've got nothing anyway.
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Please don't kill yourself. You are on this planet for a reason. I don't know if you believe In god or not but he has plans for you. Please reach out to Jesus Christ. He will help you. Do not kill yourself. Obviously people care about you. I don't even know you and I am begging you to stay and live. Call a suicidal line for advice. Go to church. Just find time to just meditate and think about all the possibilities. I once was suicidal. I wanted to kill myself. I thought there was no plans for my future. I reached out to Jesus Christ and its been few years now and so many things have happened that I never thought would. You never know what your future has in store for you.
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Let me answer you by correcting the last line in you're question which seems to be the underlying reason for your awful despair. You do have something. You have a wonderful future. This may sound like the most ridiculous thing right now, but I've been in that awful place, and I've climbed out of the abyss. You're in a really tough place right now, but suicide is not the solution. Don't you rather want everything to work out in your life? How about giving your life another chance? You seem to have very low self esteem, and due to that you are settling in relationships, and feeling awful. Let's start by working on that. You have to start believing in yourself and your greatness. You may say, well there's nothing great about me, but you're wrong! You're a queen, and anyone who treats you any less than one, including your ex, does not deserve to be with you. Just by being in this world, you are making it a more beautiful place. This is not crap or pity talk. This is real. You are really strong to have survived this far on your own, but now it's time you get help, because it's impossible to deal with all that alone. You deserve the best care, a loving and dedicated mate, and above all you have the right to be here and be happy. You do not deserve to die! You are much stronger than you think you are. Reach out to someone who can help you. I care about you and your happiness, and there are many others who do too. Get help immediately or call 911 if you ever feel you cannot maintain your own safety. Life can be really really awesome, and you should never settle for anything other than the best, because you deserve it! I hope you find happiness again, and your soulmate who will love you for who you are. First you need to do that! Good luck and take care of a very special you! I admire your strength :)
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