|
What is his deal?
I have been "seeing" this guy for around 3 months ( we are both in our 20s). He got out of a relationship a month or so before we started talking and he initially said he didn't want a relationship, and his friends alluded to the same thing. I didn't want one at first either I mean he isn't really even my type at all and we live kind of far from each other so we really only hang out at beat once a week. We text everyday and our for our first " date" he brought me to his house and made me an extravagant meal and bought three different types of wine incase I didn't like one of them. Totally unplanned we ended up falling asleep and I spent the night ( nothing happened more than kissing). Similar nights followed and after almost three months we had sex and right after we did he started speaking about his ex gf ( nothing positive though). We also went to a party and he got mad that I was talking to other guys. Ever since we had sex I feel like we are distant and I actually like him and would want to date him because sometimes he really does act like a boyfriend but I find it so hard to bring up the topic with him. He makes references to the future and to love spending time with me and how he hopes to do certain things with me ( like travel), yet he makes no attempt to solidify what we have. I really don't know what to do anymore, I don't know whether this is just a hookup to him or more but I'm scared to ask because I don't want to sound dumb. My question is, how do I get him to want to actually be with me emotionally as well? Any insight would be really appreciated
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You are going to have to take the risk and talk to him.
He's already 'emotionally' with you. You are in a relationship. It's just not a very honest one at moment.
If you continue on like this for too long, he'll drift away, talk himself out of it, or you'll both fall into resentment over these unclear expectations and boundaries.
If one of you doesn't man up and speak up, you WILL loose him, and it'll probably be messy and painful.
Talk to him. It's best possible thing to do to lead to the best possible outcome.
]
You two had sex and he began talking about his ex? Whether it was positive or not he isn't completely over her. If he was then he wouldn't have the need to bring her up period. Also, he had told you in the beginning he didn't want a relationship or perhaps he does but wants no emotional part of it. Really the best advice I can give you is to be honest and talk to him about it. If he doesn't want to get emotionally envolvedthen I would probably just stick to being friends and set boundaries. Allowing yourself to have sex is allowing him to be apart of you emotionally whether there is an understanding or not. What you do is up to you but sometimes fwb can be damaging depending. Re- evaluate your relationship and rake it from there
]
More Questions: |