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Should I be mad over something that happened 8 months ago?
Tomorrow is my boyfriend and I's 9 month anniversary. He's my best friend and I have never felt this way about anyone! Sure, we're in high school and we have our share of rough times, but we get along so well. He's really sweet, funny, and he treats me so right. Before we were dating, we gave each other our FB passwords because we would hack each other and write funny stuff. We've been close since my freshman year and his sophomore year.
Today, I was on his Facebook profile. I was just looking at his pictures, and a message popped up. It was an old message from a few months ago but I guess he stopped reading it. It was a message from one of his ex girlfriends. She is fifteen... and clearly immature..because I know her and she dates a guy every week and says she loves them each week. I'm a very jealous girl...and he's a very jealous guy...so when we get jealous, hell breaks loose! Anyways, the conversation between them was September 11, 2011. A week after we officially started dating. She and him were talking.. and just to add more anger, HE PUT THE MESSAGE IN HIS (OTHER) message folder just in case I went through his messages. I never had the right to, because I trusted him... but this message was clearly hidden from me. I read through it. Just to sum it up, he said hi first, and they started talking formally, like "how are you" and "sup"...but then she said, "I have a question... do you think there's a spark still between us?" And he said, "Are you breaking up with me?" And she said, "I don't know." And so he said, "Well you kind of left me to go hang with your friends and I felt left out and hurt...I just don't want this to go on anymore if you don't care..." and she said, "Idk" and then he said, "Just tell me how you feel" and the conversation ended.
I am absolutely heartbroken. I am getting so upset over something that happened months ago because he was dating someone else while he and I were talking! We talked from July to August in a flirty manner, and we got together in September. He would always say his neighbor was at his house, and I would get a bit jealous, but I would swipe it aside because I didn't want to seem clingy. I am so sick over this conversation that I feel so nauseous. I'm wondering if I should tell him and talk and tell him I know, but I don't want to seem like a nosy person or like I don't trust him. I'm just so hurt that he would still kiss me and ask me out while he was dating someone else...and now I feel like a rebound. Things ended between them a few days later, but it still hurts. Am I being overdramatic? Should I talk to him?
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The best thing is be honest its hard when you are in situations like this. Tell him exacly what happened let him know how you feel if you don't your feelings about it will. Just continue to make you feel more worried and jealous good luck and congrats on making 9months!
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You really need to talk to him. Sit down with him, calmly, and let him know you aren't mad, you just are a bit confused, and you would like for him to be honest and clear it up for you.
You know, you aren't nosey. Things like this happen all the time when you swap passwords with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Let him know you weren't snooping, but you got on, and you saw the IM pop up, and you couldn't help but look.
Let him know that you love him, and you feel kind of hurt that he was dating her while you guys were talking. Make sure you are talking calmy to him, so he doesn't jump to conclusions or get mad. Let him know that you don't want this to come between you too, and you wanna talk about it, because communication is the number one thing in a relationship along with honesty, and trust.
Everything should go by fine. If I was you, I'd probably feel sick too. I'd be hurt, and I wouldn't know what to think, or even what to do.
Just be calm, and mature about it.
If you need any help at all, please inbox me!
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