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Do I try harder or take my losses?
21/F
I've been dating this guy off and on for the last 5 years. I'm in college and he's already got a job in the city so were in different towns at the moment, I had my birthday last weekend and he was suppose to come visit but things happened and I told him to postpone his coming for a day because I was extremely exhausted from studying for a major exam. All I wanted to do was go home and go to sleep, well he didn't take it so well since I've cancelled on him for our past few visits because something always comes up. I honestly didn't think he would take it that badly but he did and ended up being quite mean about it, therefore, the next day I told him I rather him not come cause of the night before. Again he was mad and started calling me names and blowing up my phone, he pretty much ruined my 21st birthday. He then sincerely apologized the next day but told me I wasn't to talk/call him until I was ready to see him and he would come visit the day of rather than making plans ahead of tIme.. The problem is I'm extremely busy with school from now till may and I will never just have a day specified for him... So my question is if I should just let it go and move on and find someone more understanding or continue to try for a relationship even though he won't talk to me until were together.. I think the thing that gets me the most is he knew the only way this was going to work was long distance so he can't expect me to be okay with not talking to him until then, right? I have talked to him since he said that btw but it isn't the seem it's like he just doesn't even make an effort to sound interested in me, so why should I make an effort to make time to see him?
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you should definitly break up with him. he is obviously rude, impatient and inconsiderate. you deserve a guy that treats you the right way who is respectful. second, it doesn't seem like it is the right place and time for you to be in a relationship right now. you seem very focused on your studies, and you don't need a distraction. you are young and have alot ahead of you. it's ok to take your time finding the right guy. there are plenty of fish in the sea...and frankly i don't think this guy is worth it. he seems very short-tempered and disrespectful toward you.
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Break up with him.
Not because he's a meany or not understanding enough. Not because he over-reacted and yelled at you.
Break up with him because you aren't interested in making the time to see him - and because he's not interested in having this same fight with you over and over again.
If you are canceling on someone repeatedly (which is exceedingly rude, especially when you do it last minute and they need to plan and to travel) and can't handle your other life responsibilities in such a way as to specify a day to see them within several months, then you just aren't all that interested in seeing that person.
I get that it's tough and it's stressful. When I was at university the easy weeks were 60 hours in class, and I worked a job for long a time that was even more demanding. It's not easy - but if you really want to make time to see someone, even when you are not at 100% - then you do it.
If you don't, don't jerk them around, canceling and trying to make it their fault for getting annoyed with your rudeness - end the relationship that you don't want to be in.
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