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I should be happy? But I'm not?
21/F
Recently my ex of 4 years and I started talking again, although we had a lot of problems (cheating (him not me), jealousy, fighting (verbally), trust issues on/off breaking up to date previous exes (again him not me)) in the past we both have discussed in order for us to try again we both have to accept the past and keep moving forward and take it one day at a time. sounds good right? Wrong. The day we started really talking through it I couldn't be happier, I never wanted that moment to end because I felt like he actually cared. We broke up a year ago and I've dated other people but I never felt as happy as I do when I'm with him, he's honest to god the love of my life. Well the day after (today) we discussed all that he text me and we were just having a normal conversation but I just felt completely and utterly sad and I have no idea why? I was so happy to have him back the day before but yet today talking to him doesn't make me smile it just makes me want to cry. The past year I've been so depressed not having him and now that I have him I still feel sad... I don't get it? Our conversation we so pure and refreshing that you would think I would be happy to start over but I'm not. Is it cause I still haven't gotten over what he's put me through or what? He even noticed my mood was different (I wear my heart on my sleeve) cause he asked if everything was okay and I just said yea and he hasn't texted back. I really just need to know so I can be happy with him and not let this ruin us... cause I know if I continue being this moody he's going to leave again.. What should I do?
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Im in a very similar situation as you are right now with different problems.
I think you are hurting because you look at everything around you and the extent other guys will go to to make their girl friends happy. And you realize that he really hurt you and didnt try very hard for a while. Its only normal to feel this way because the trust in you guys is gone. Saying that everything is behind you doesn't make it really behind you.
Unfortunatly, I can only throw off ideas that I have thought about since I obviously haven't figured out what to do in this situation either.
My "boyfriend" suggested that we be friends and build back the trust slowly. This may work for you. Just take it one day at a time and let him prove to you that he feels this way and isn't going to leave.
The other decision you have to make is even if you love him so much is it possible that maybe its just not the right time? What I'm realizing is I want a real healthy relationship and I just want simplicity. And honestly, I don't know if I can get that with the guy I'm with now. You don't want to have to walk on eggshells around someone and worry they will leave.
You deserve someone who loves to be with you and doesn't take you for granted ever. And I'm really not saying that you guys can't be together. Because who knows, you may be perfect for each other and he will realize how much you mean to him. But what I think about is if you guys are really "meant to be" then won't he feel the same way about you in maybe a year. Maybe if you just took some time to really make yourself happy and work soley on yourself during a year the relationship could work much better?
I know its one of the hardest things to go through and I hate this age because it is full of such uncertainty. Just know that you aren't alone and in the end what is supposed to happen always will. You aren't given desires for them to go unfilled.
Everything will work out how it is supposed to and I hope the saddness you feel goes away! Just try to do things that make YOU happy and if that means a bit of time apart from him. Then do it because a healthy relationship is much better than a broken one.
If you need anything else, feel free to ask!
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Talking to him probably brings up a lot of your past and since you said he cheated on you then it's probably not all good things. You need to decide if talking to him is what's best for you. It might seem like it but if all you're going to think about is cheating and the fights then it's really not. However, you should at least try to forgive him whether you decide to talk or don't. He is human. That doesn't mean he deserves a second chance but if you forgive him then you might feel better about it. If you think he does deserve a second chance, make sure he really did change and won't cheat on you again.
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