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I can't live my life because of my stupid parents!
My dad HATES his side of the family for an unknown reason. I can never go to their house(s) because he forbids me to see SOME of them!
I made plans for Friday to do with my cousin(I already met her) and when I told him, he was like "Uh no your not" and my mom said it was ok!!!
I talked to him about it and he said "Until your 18 you live under MY rules" and stupid crap like that. I'm not waiting like 7 years to see them!!!
What do I do? I can't talk to him because he walks away from me and shuts his door!!!!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
So you got the infamous "you live under my roof, you live by my rules," quote.
That is a tough one to undo for regardless of how you feel about it, it is quite true and very lawful. As long as you are under 18 your parents are responsible for you and everything you do, regardless of where you live. They have every right to limit who you see and what you do. Is it right? not really. When put in to certain aspects of your growing up and learning to make your way in the world in can be very wrong.
Being of the age of one of your grandparents I can tell you that many family feuds are for the most part irrational to those outside the feud, such as someone like you. Now it is possible that your dad has a very good reason why he does not want you seeing members of his family. My father in-law had a very good reason for feuding with his family.
He was a prisoner of war during WWII. Two of his three brothers and his one sister sold everything he owned when they got the news. His other brother was also in the Army fighting and he maintained a relationship with him but not his two other brothers and his sister. For when he returned they said; oh we figured you would die in prison camp and would want us to have your things. They never offered to even give him the money they got for them. This is just an example of a justifiable family feud. There are thousands of lesser reasons for family feuds.
Your father may not think you are old enough to understand the why of his not wanting you to see his side of the family. If this is the case you could ask mom if she can give you some insight or when in doubt about an issue like this follow one of the golden rules; "Honor thy father."
I know what I am asking is hard, especially since you have no logical explanation to do so. But ignoring your fathers wishes until you are old enough for him to be either be more comfortable in telling you the why of his reasons; or you are old enough to be on your own and make up your on mind of who to see and not see. This is the right thing for you to do now.
Whatever the reason is your father is harboring a deep hurt towards his family. You fighting him on this will only deepen that hurt.
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If you yourself are unable to speak with your father, perhaps talk to your mother and ask her why he doesn't allow you to see some of your relatives. If this doesn't work, then have her speak with your father. Perhaps there is a good reason as to why he does not wish you to be around these relatives. When I was younger, I went through the same thing, only to find out that the reason my father forbade me to be around certain relatives was truly a good reason. I just didn't learn them until much later in life. And honestly, I'm happy that my father did so, because who know what type of things may have happened to me should I not have listened to him. But as I said previously, ask your mother, and have her speak with your father this way you may better understand why. Or perhaps ask your father what possible dangers may occur should you visit these family members. Just remember, do not get upset and remain calm, chances are if you get upset in anyway with your father, you may never get an answer yourself.
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