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How can I get better at maintaining relationships?
I'm great at meeting new people and being really friendly with them at first, and then it's like, I don't know how to continue that, and we end up drifting away, and then I find myself alone and unhappy. How can I stop this from happening? Sometimes it's like I don't want to keep talking, like I'm afraid of letting them really get to know me because I don't want to let them reject me, so it's like I reject them first, when I actually do want to be friends with them. And then I find myself hanging around people I'm not really compatible with, that I don't really like, just because it's easier. I just hate myself right now. Like I'm a senior and I hang around mainly freshmen cause of this, but they don't really know me. Nobody knows me, because I don't let them get to know me. And I'm also socially awkward from basically growing up on the internet and idk how to do simple things like invite someone over to my house or w/e cause it just really freaks me out and idk what to do cause my house is really boring, and etc. i've missed out on many many social things cause of this and it just needs to stop cause it doesn't make me happy at all. i cant truly be happy when i feel alone, no matter how much music i listen to, to numb the pain. is there any way I can mend relationships with people i've let drift away, and to stop this kind of behavior? it's a no-win scenario, it's mean to the other person as well as to myself. I'm 18 in high school, if it makes a difference
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
There is a book called How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It's probably at most libraries. It talks about what people do wrong in friendships. An example used in the book is criticism. Let's say a boss of a construction company is always yelling at his employees to wear helmets. They still don't always wear their helmets and resent him for it. They don't like being yelled at. However, he changed his way of talking to them. Instead of yelling, he said "Is something wrong with your helmet? It's important you wear it but let me know if it's uncomfortable for you and we'll get you a different one." See the difference? Sometimes you just have to word things differently. I'm not saying you criticize them. But you can let them know that you want to maintain the relationship by asking them questions about what happened and asking them to hang out. It doesn't have to be at your house. Go to the mall or something.
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