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Is virginity lost through fingering by someone else?
Please help me. I never wanted to have any sex till marriage. I heard of oral so I didnt do that. But I hadnt heard of fingering & the guy I was seeing said it wasnt sex. So I let him do it. He knew I hadnt done anything before & this was only our first date. I said will I still be a virgin if you do that & he said yes. He asked if I finger myself & I said yes, but you cant loose it to yourself. i didnt like him doing it but he's 22 & Im 17 so I trusted him. In my country 16 is the age where it is legal to have sex. Am I still a virgin if he did this to me 3 different in a space of a week? Can someone please explain the anatomy of fingering & why am I still a virgin then! I feel like Ive done something but not.. I keep crying cause I feel like Ive cheated Mary cause I know she never did that. My mum said im still the same person I was before I went in & when I came out of his house. Is that true ause why did I bleed! Ive only nled from my period. Please can someone explain the anatomy of fingering to me. I know sex didnt happen with the penis but something else did. Im just confused cause I think Ive done something wrong. I dont feel pure anymore. Its like he put his finger in there & left it there. I feel dirty inside. Not like I used to be. Even though he did it to me three times & when my husband does that to me wikk I still be a virgin then if we dont. Why do people say how do you define virginity then! I just feel different that someone else did it. How far dies their finger go insiee! Is that what cherry pop is when you were pure but now youre dirty!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
The reason this is difficult to answer is because different people have different definitions of what virginity is. Some people think virginity depends on whether the hymen is still intact; other people think you're a virgin until you have actual sex. Most people would say you're still a virgin since you didn't have sex.
BUT, you were still penetrated. This is why you bled; the hymen was broken (he popped your cherry) when his fingers went into the space where the penis goes in during sex. So, if you're someone who believes virginity is lost when the hymen is broken, you could say you lost your virginity.
So in the end, it only matters what you think. What matters is how YOU feel. Virginity doesn't have anything to do with whether you consider something "dirty"; that is subjective to the individual.
From the sound of it, you regret it. Whether you're a virgin or not (which personally, I would still say you are... but that's just me), I don't think that affects how YOU feel about it, which is "dirty". Don't worry about what other people think; neither me, nor any other advice-giver on this site, society, not even your future husband. And no, not your boyfriend either. He shouldn't have pressured you to do something you weren't sure about, especially not on the first date. If you're still with him and he cares about you, you should let him know how you're feeling and he should respect YOUR boundaries.
And as for you, you shouldn't do ANYTHING you're not ready for, no matter who the person is or what they tell you. I'm not making any judgments about you, I just think it's a shame that you went with something you weren't sure about and are now feeling so badly about yourself. Don't; just remember next time to take things at YOUR pace. If the person cares about you, they'll understand.
And don't worry about being "dirty". From what I can tell, you're far from it if you care so much about your personal virtue.
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