Lying to my mother, and getting her to trust me again.
Question Posted Tuesday March 13 2012, 2:48 pm
So to give some backstory my father was am obsessive lier (i didnt know him) however i recently Lied to my mother about handing a form into my school (which was an accident)and now she will not trust me with anything and asks how can i trust you. How can i deal with this situation also she had clinical depression and so do I.
She's come to expect people in her family lie in the same fashion he did. That's her problem--trust issues and not yours. What should you do? Well you should say "I was wrong to lie about handing in the form when I forgot and did so to avoid punishment here and at school."
Be honest and direct and admit the lie and reason for it and tell her you'll act like an adult in the future and not lie even if it means something negative happens for the truth. Then comes the tough part FOLLOW THROUGH! She needs to see through actions that you mean it.
In a separate conversation when she's in a better mood (and you have to have the conversation inevitably) tell her that you know your father was a bit of a schmuck and pathological liar and hurt her but that you have no desire to hurt her or lie your ass off about everything and won't. Explain your depression and hers as well as dad's problem hold no links other than an irrational fear."
Tell her this trust issue is one you both need to deal with when you see your psychiatrist next as there's more to this lying thing and her reaction than the stupid form and she has to see lying isn't something handed down or a part of your illnesses either. [ solidadvice4teens's advice column | Ask solidadvice4teens A Question ]
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