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Transfer to college out of state
Okay so I plan to transfer out of state for college. My mom makes about 26,000 a year and she supports a family of 6. I feel out of place to ask her if she could drive me to whatever school I plan to go to, for financial reasons. I graduated HS about 2 yrs ago and I went to a university in state and I hated it. I made alot of friends but, I just wasn't happy there. Now I am at a community college and I want to enter the fall 2012 which will be my junior year, happily. I am very unhappy of my whereabouts and I want to be content with the decision I make. I always envisioned myself going out of MA for school.I've looked into transferring somewhere in the Mid- Atlantic region or the south. I would love to see the opportunities that are available elsewhere for me. My parents are very traditional and they discourage my idea of wanting to leave the state. They like to "play it safe" and settle for what's in front of them. This is not a bad thing, but I feel like I am settling for their decisions. When in reality, I need to make decisions for myself. I'm 19, and it's time I start acting like it. YES, I know it is more affordable if I stay in state for school. But that is not my main concern. PLEASE DO NOT tell me about the benefits of staying in- state for school. I already all of them.
My question is: what do you think of this? how can I send my belongings to my school of choice? Should I just settle for a school in state?
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Hi there,
As for the actual transferring schools part of this, the only thing you will need to do is decide on a school that you would like to attend, then contact them to see if they will accept your transfer. If so, they will talk with your current school and help you get all your transfer paperwork ready.
Two things I have learned through hard experience:
No matter how crazy you feel like your family drives you, there will come a time when you will wish you never left. Might be a month, might be a decade, but I would bet money that you will find yourself longing for things you never thought you would miss.
The second thing is that, with VERY few exceptions, moving to get away from your problems doesn't work. Why? We bring our problems with us. Usually turns out that what we thought the problem was... well, it wasn't.
I don't presume to know your life, your parents or anything else, but these are things that are so common to so many people's life experiences that they are accepted as nearly universal truths. :-)
Now, on the other hand, I would also like to say that very few things help a person get a new perspective on life like travel.
I know you think 19 is old, and you should be "living your life" by now. Been there, done that. If it were at all possible for you to hear me, I would save you the pain that is coming if you relocate to a new place at 19. I will try:
None of us are quite as bright as we think we are at that age. It has nothing to do with I.Q. and everything to do with wisdom. You don't have much yet. Don't be offended... none of us do at 19. Nobody.
Quick example from my own life: My dad... at 18 I was sure he was wrong about everything, and so I went off moved away and did some spectacularly stupid things. Just a few years later, I would have known better.
No way I am even going to pretend to understand how it all works, exactly, but there is a certain wisdom that comes from age alone. Some people never develop it, but for most of us, it comes along over time.
Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that our brains haven't begun to finish developing at 19. Some say 23, some say 25 years old is when the brain is fully formed. Looking back at my experience, I made an exceptionally unwise decision at 26, that I wouldn't have made at 30, so for me I don't think that real wisdom took hold until then.
Perhaps when I am 70 someday, I will look back on myself now and marvel at what a knucklehead I was... but I can give you my word that there is a dramatic upswing in wisdom just around the corner.
Please, don't do anything you will spend the rest of your life regretting. What seems like the smartest thing EVER when you are 19, is usually something you will hate yourself for at 23. You can take my word, if you like, and I hope you do, but if you don't... write me back when you are 23 and tell me how it all worked out, would you? :-)
As for shipping your stuff, that is no big deal. Box it all up and ship it UPS or FedEx. If you have a lot of stuff to send, you can ask FedEx about sending a pallet with your stuff. Pretty much anything you can stick on a pallet, up to six feet tall can be shipped that way.
I like to travel... a lot. So keep that in mind when I say this: You will end up someplace. Make sure it is someplace you want to be. I can also vouch for the fact that no matter how much you dislike where you are right now... you will wish you could go back. It happens to everyone, and there is no shame in it.
Good luck, be smart and I hope to hear from you in the future. :-)
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