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i'm STILL not sure if i can date him...
Hi guys, so I have this friend named john. He is my bestfriend and i hangout with him almost everyday. He asked me out in mid-december and now its almost the end of January. I said no to him because he is my older brothers bestfriend too, and i dont and didnt want to do that to my brother. another reason is because i'm not sure if i like him 100%. I mean i flirt with his constantly and he knows that i like him, i told him that yesturday. and also, i am not sexually attracted to him. He stands about 6-6'1 and i am about 5'5, and he is very broad and naturally a big guy. much bigger than i am, and i like his size but than im just not sexually attracked to him.. i dont understand it...and if him and i were to date and have sex i would feel under so much pressure. like so judged. but he knows about my prior sex life. i've kissed him many times, but never made out with him until last friday and it wasnt very pleasing so i guess thats another reason why i dont want to date him. his saliva was like thick and his mouth is small. But he is a good friend and i think he would do anything for me. He is accepted by my family and by my friends. but one of my friends think we would be great together but she also thinks that we may not have as much fun together if we date. i've been thinking about this for obviously a pretty long time and i just want to hear what you guys think.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
No matter what anyone tells you ever, sexual attraction is the largest basis for any romantic relationship 100% of the time. If you're not sexually attracted to him, especially after making out and being around him a lot, you have absolutely no reason to start a relationship with him, and it would just be plain stupid to have sex with him.
That being said, it will be hard for him to be friends with you, because that is not how guys see the world. Girls can be friends with guys, but straight guys cannot be JUST friends with girls. He will always be attracted to you and want to be with you as long as you are best friends. This is called the "friend zone" and can make him very frustrated with your relationship.
Unfortunately not much can really be done about it. If he is able to deal with being friend zoned then fine, but he will eventually have to get over it and move on.
If you really are not sexually attracted to him and don't want to be with him, do NOT continue to flirt with him. Do not lead him on. Do not hint at you two having sex. Do not tease him. Do not make out with him or kiss him anymore. If you really make him think he has a chance with you when he doesn't, like so many girls tend to do with guys they friend zone, you are being a horrible friend. Don't do it.
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