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My boyfriends best friend
For about three years, he’s been really close to this girl. She’s sixteen, a junior. I knew when we first started talking that they were very good friends, and I could tell in just the way he talked about her that she meant a lot to him. But he assured me it was strictly a brother-sister type relationship. And while I trust him, it’s still been hard to always see it like that. She’s absolutely gorgeous, and a really sweet girl. I know I’m not ugly but she just has this way about her… she’s very very small. And he is very very very protective of her. And I don’t know, he doesn’t get that kind of protective of me (shes one of those, damsel in distress type that all guys love to "rescue" all the time). He is always taking care of her… And while yeah, I don’t need taking care of exactly, it still feels weird. Basically before we started dating they would talk on the phone or text every single day, hang out every weekend, he took her to prom… they were inseprapable. And he has reeeeeally cut back on how much he’s been seeing her. And I haven’t had to ask him to do that, and I know he doesn’t like it, but he does it. And while he doesn’t’ complain about it, or even acknowledge it, I know he misses her. But honestly, I don’t know what to do. I’m scared he’s gonna fall in love with her or something. I want him to be happy but I don’t want to get involved in his friendships or do anything that might break us up. And I feel selfish and guilty because I know she needs him and I know he really cares about her… but what am I supposed to do!?
On a side not, this girl and me do no get a long AT ALL. It’s a long story but she basically hates me because of something that happened between me and her friend…, which… well it’s complicated. But I don’t necessarily like her either? Yeah… so me hanging around her is kind of out of the question.
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Well you should have made your question more clear. You asked what you were suppose to do, and I told you. If you don't like it, and you can't get use to it than leave him. Nothing will change on his half. He will continue to see and talk to this girl. You either gotta learn to deal with it and get over it, or you need to leave him.
If you believe that not seeing her as much is hurting him, than tell him to go see her more. Obviously if he's hurting from not seeing her, he's interested more in her than he is you. No one should be hurting from not seeing just a friend; he has feelings for her, but he probably is oblivious to it; or hasn't ever really thought about it.
You also have another choice. You can put the stupid drama you have with this girl aside and try to be friends. Sit down and talk with her. Figure out why she doesn't like you; (you may think you know, but there could be more too it) get her point of view. Try to make things civil to where if you guys hang out together that it won't be akaward. Sometimes you have to sacrafice and do things you don't want to do for the sake of others. Obviously, she doesn't know the whole story as to what happen between you and her friend; she probabyl only knows her friends side, which is bad talkig you. Get it straighting out.
Hopefully this advice is a little better for you. I'm sorry I didn't answer your question correctly the first time. Next time make your question more clear, so you get more accurate advice, (:
I hope everything works out for you. Good Luck.
-------------------------------------------------It kind of sounds like your boyfriend has already made feelings for her. If my boyfriend had a bestfriend that was the opposite sex, I'd be kind mad since he spent more time with her than with me.
Your boyfriend should be showing more attention toward you. She doesn't need him; she needs to get a life and stop relying on your boyfriend to make things better.
I honestly think this is a bad situation. I don't see how you tolerate it. It's different to have a friend that you hang with occasionally, talk to accoasionally, but not almost every single day.
You need to tell him how you feel. If he doesn't like it, than that means he doesn't respect you or your feelings. He should atleast put a hold ont he firendship with the girl; like cut back on it.
If he doesn't, than tell him that he should be with her not you. Seems like he's more scared in losing that girl and not his girlfriend.
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