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must choose either girlfriend or best friend (I cheated on the best friend w/benefits to be with my gf)
I am a guy and I had an 7+ year friendship with benefits with my flatmate also a guy, for the last 3-4 years it was supposed to be exclusive.
I recently got caught out sleeping with other people and had to tell him (who had been faithful to me) that I really like a girl I’d been with for the past 8 months and wanted to be with her and not doing ‘benefits’ anymore. Now my friend wasn’t happy that I’ve been sleeping around and was extremely hurt and betrayed about it all he said I’d broken his trust and loyalty, though he was ok with not having benefits but felt I would have to rebuild the trust and loyalty and what-not back up to save our friendship. When we discussed about the girl I had been going with he said that I could be with her if I wanted but me and him couldn’t be friends if I did as it would make all the hurt and bad memories about what happened always be there, like I’d be rubbing it in his face in it when we’re together or I’m with her knowing that I cheated on him with her. I really want to be with her but I also want to keep my best friend but it seems that one can’t work with the other. I know what I did was really really bad but who and how can I choose?
-My best friend who has always been there, through good times and bad, we know all about each other he’s what a true best friend should be, someone who I know I should never of hurt as I know he would’ve rather hurt himself than hurt me.
OR
-A girl that started off as a fling but developed into being boyfriend girlfriend. I want to be with her all the time and I think about her all the time, I think I might even love her.
I need to sort this out so we can move forward and stop all the hurting but what can I do about the two people I love, advice please?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I hate to say this to you, but this one is on you. You could have been honest from the beginning, or you could have remained faithful. I'm not judging you, and I'm not saying you're a bad person. We all make mistakes.
You say that this guy is your best friend, and he has always been there for you. He's proven that for at least seven years.
This girl hasn't even been in your life for one year, but it sounds like you really care about her.our
Remember, a true friend is a loyal friend - which is what you have - and a true friend is hard to find. Often once in a lifetime. And friendship is the first step to a successful relationship, because if you are just someone's "boyfriend", and you can't get the "friend" part in there too, it will never last.
So these are your options:
1. You can take a chance on this girl and hope it works out, but lose a dear friend in the process.
2. You can stay with this guy who has proven time and time again that he will always be there for you, and lose a possible relationship with the girl.
3. You can decide that you don't want to have to decide, and not have a serious relationship with either of them, and get a fresh start.
The choice is yours; think carefully on the pros and cons of all the options.
Sincerely,
WittedPanda
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